"I DIDN'T want it to end that way." An understatement, perhaps, but the end of Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink's Middlesbrough career in 2006 was a sour point.
Nobody was to know that the man who had earned such popularity on Teesside - whose goal a year previous had secured UEFA Cup football - would, just a month after the cup final defeat to Sevilla in Eindhoven, be released from the club.
Steve McClaren had already been appointed as England manager in waiting, with Sven Goran Eriksson's escape route plotted.
Boro went to Eindhoven knowing they needed to replace McClaren. Hasselbaink made the journey, fully expecting the game to be the latest in many more Boro appearances. It wasn't.
I asked Hasselbaink about that night in Eindhoven. He winced and rocked his head back. "Don't make me talk about that!
"I don't want to be remembered for that night, put it that way."
Of course, the result was 4-0. A jaded Boro played one game too many and were well beaten on the night.
And, two weeks later, a new manager was appointed. Hasselbaink's teammate, Gareth Southgate. For Hasselbaink, the rest was history.
It seemed a rough deal that Hasselbaink was to be unceremoniously dumped from Boro. After all, his sublime free-kick at Manchester City in the final game of the 2004-5 season - his first season on Teesside - sealed a second successive season in Europe. They had him to thank in part for those unforgettable European nights.
And, in hindsight, many could question the wisdom in releasing a player they had picked up for nothing, who six years earlier had cost Chelsea £15m.
While some players would hold a grudge against the manager that released them, Hasselbaink refused to criticise his former captain.
He said: "It didn't end in a bad way.
"I don't hold grudges, I'm a positive person and I move on. They released me and that was it."
Hasselbaink, who went on to play for Charlton Athletic and Cardiff City before hanging up his boots in 2008, had joined Middlesbrough after being released by Jose Mourinho in one of his first acts as Chelsea manager in 2004.
He came to the Riverside at the same time as Michael Reizeger and Mark Viduka, where McClaren's Boro were expected to mount a serious challenge on Europe after winning the Carling Cup that year.
Hasselbaink recalls: "It was a great time for me at Middlesbrough. I came from Chelsea and to come here, I was told, was a step down, but I didn't see it as a step down. We achieved many things and we played some good football."
In his first season on Teesside, he forged an impressive partnership with Viduka and scored 16 goals.
The following season, Hasselbaink - with Boro's roster boasting Massimo Maccarone and Yakubu - continued his exploits with 17 goals in all competitions.
He said: "We had a great team with some good players. Viduka, Southgate, Zenden, Boateng, Mendieta, Downing, great players. Fun times."
Hasselbaink's never-say-die attitude was all too evident, often being a source of encouragement to those players who were deemed not to be putting the effort in.
But in that UEFA Cup final season, Boro played 64 times - Hasselbaink 48 - and that had taken its toll. While reaching a European final was to be McClaren's greatest Boro achievement, that night in Eindhoven was a game too far for his weary squad.
Boro were duly punished, thumped 4-0 by a side boasting Freddie Kanoute and Luis Fabiano.
Hasselbaink recalls: "The European times were mad days, especially that second year. The games we won in the last minute, it was magnificent. As a player, you will never forget those games. Magnificent.
"The 4-0 in Eindhoven was my last game. I don't want to be remembered by that. But if we're being honest, after that semi-final, Sevilla had too much for us, it was a long season for us. Southgate wasn't 100 per cent, I wasn't fully fit, I played the last game through the pain barrier, so it was one of those things."
For Middlesbrough, 2005-6 was a rollercoaster ride. From the sheer elation of that fourth goal against Steaua Bucharest at the Riverside, to the insipid nature of a 4-0 defeat at home to Aston Villa and a 7-0 defeat by a Thierry Henry-inspired Arsenal, the average Boro fan went through the whole gamut of emotions.
And, despite that defeat in Eindhoven, there was real belief that, under a new manager, Boro could build on two consecutive European qualifications and maintain that.
Hasselbaink certainly felt that he could have been part of that.
He said: "I wanted to play on. I would have done. But I wasn't allowed to.
"Gareth Southgate became manager and I think he wanted to work with players that maybe didn't have a lot to say.
"Maybe he thought it would be easier for him to manage.
"I would have had to call him boss, even though we were more or less the same age and we had played together.
"I think that was more or less the reason. And I was getting on!"
Southgate himself said at the time: "Jimmy's a good player and I'm sure he will score goals for somebody. But I've got excellent striking options here and feel we really need to strengthen in other positions that have to take priority."
18 months later, Middlesbrough bolstered their ‘excellent striking options' with the £13.2million signing of Afonso Alves. The man who Boro signed for free would be forgiven for having a wry smile at that.
FIVE years on, Hasselbaink is taking his coaching badges, is applying for jobs and is hopeful that a chairman will take a chance on him.
He was linked with the Cardiff City job last month, and is patiently waiting for a chance in the UK.
The man who brought the best out of Hasselbaink is already two weeks into his new job as manager of Nottingham Forest, ending a five-year exile in domestic club management.
Hasselbaink has nothing but praise for his former boss.
"He deserves the chance back in England. He's one of the best British coaches. I'm happy that he's got the opportunity. I worked really well with him at Middlesbrough. I've got good memories.
"He did well in Holland, won the league with Twente - no one else has done that - went to Wolfsburg but that was the wrong choice for him.
"The Championship is a horrible division to get out of, but if anybody can do it, Steve McClaren can."
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