YOU know how it is. One of your grandsons gets married, and the wedding isn't exactly what you might call low-key. You couldn't describe the bride's family as poor, but they don't have the money you have and it's fair to say you're saddled with the bulk of the bill.
A couple of months or so down the line, and that bill needs paying. What do you do?
Well, if you're Her Majesty The Queen, you enter your horse in the Derby, send it off the 2-1 favourite, and keep your fingers crossed that the £1.25m prize money at least covers the hire of Westminster Abbey.
At worst, finish in the first three, and you should be able to cover the petrol for that Rolls Royce drive down the Mall.
While yesterday's Dante Stakes at York might have lost a little of its lustre when the new star of flat racing, Frankel, was declared a non starter almost as soon as he had trounced the best three-year-old milers in the country in the 2000 Guineas, you can't beat a bit of Royal interest to get the pulse racing.
The King might have been missing after Henry Cecil decreed that Frankel would not stay the one-and-a-half miles of the Derby, but that merely opened the door for the Queen.
Her Majesty might not have made it to the Knavesmire, but her racing and bloodstock advisor, John Warren, suggested she “gave a good yell” as Carlton House saw off five rivals to claim the Dante and surge to the head of the Derby market.
Billed as a three-horse race involving Carlton House, Seville, trained by Irish maestro Aidan O'Brien, and World Domination, trained, like Frankel, by Cecil, York's showcase Derby trial was a muddling affair that threatened to ask more questions than it answered.
Straightening up with five furlongs to go, the unfancied Pisco Sour looked like springing a surprise, with Seville laying down a challenge on the inside running rail.
Briefly clear with two furlongs to go, Seville appeared the likeliest winner, but displaying reserves of stamina that will surely stand him in good stead at Epsom, Carlton House swept by on the outside and lengthened nicely to win by one-and-a-half lengths.
William Hill immediately installed him as the 5-2 favourite for Epsom, but were forced to shave that price to 2-1 within less than ten minutes.
With a royal plunge all but certain on June 4, the Queen's first Derby runner since Church Parade finished fifth in 1981 is likely to be an odds-on shot by the time the stalls open.
“I was very satisfied with the way he ran,” said Carlton House's trainer, Sir Michael Stoute. “I would have preferred a good even kick, but I liked the way he changed gear when it mattered.
“They didn't really go any pace, and that made it a bit of a messy affair. But fingers crossed we'll get to the Derby without any problems. I'll certainly be trying my best to get him there.”
Get it wrong, and a night in the Tower awaits.
Seville and World Domination will line up again at Epsom, and while the former appeared to run his race yesterday, it could be argued that the latter's refusal to settle prevented him from laying down a challenge. Derby quotes of 16-1, however, suggest the bookmakers think otherwise.
There was a regional Dante interest, with Michael Dods' Ashva finishing a creditable fifth despite starting at odds of upwards of 100-1.
The Andrew Tinkler-owned colt will not be winning the Derby, as he is not entered at Epsom, but he should claim a decent mile-and-a-quarter race this season given the way he stayed.
Carlton House's sights are set rather higher, but having finished second in the Derby in her Coronation Year, the Queen could face a difficult dilemma next month. If she finally claims the biggest prize in British flat racing, how is she going to present the trophy to herself?
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