SO that, as they say, is that.

A season of unrelenting misery ended with Middlesbrough and Newcastle dropping out of the Premier League, and Sunderland hanging on by the skin of their teeth.

But what will the summer hold in store for the North- East’s big three? As they sort through the wreckage of a season of shame, what will they do to put things right?

MIDDLESBROUGH:

THE summer starts with Gareth Southgate attending a course to complete his Pro Licence. Charged with devising a new module, the Boro boss comes up with: ‘How to get relegated when you’re in the top eight in November’. He gets an A for his efforts, narrowly pipping Hull boss Phil Brown who receives a B+.

Brown turns the tables in the workshop on ‘How to act like an idiot’, but Steve Gibson says he’ll stand by Southgate anyway.

Tired of constantly being described as ‘the best chairman in football’, Gibson decides it is time to play hard ball with his manager.

He calls Southgate into his office with the intention of sacking him following Middlesbrough’s relegation.

Southgate leaves two hours later with a new three-year contract and a £2,000-a-week pay rise.

Afonso Alves is forced to spend three days sleeping in the corridor at Heathrow instead of returning to Brazil. There are plenty of flights out of London – he just keeps missing them.

Desperate to sell some players to reduce the club’s wage bill, Southgate asks his technical staff to put together a computer file of Jeremie Aliadiere, Mido and Tuncay Sanli’s goals so he can Email it to prospective suitors. Unfortunately, the file proves too small for most computers to operate.

Having called off a planned pre-season tour of Australia, Boro opt to stage a summer tour more in keeping with their surroundings next season.

It proves a success, particularly the 1-0 victory over West Auckland.

NEWCASTLE:

MIKE Ashley makes a public apology to Newcastle supporters, claiming he has learned from the mistakes he made last season.

‘There will be no more jobs created for my Londonbased friends,’ he says. ‘No more obscure job titles that don’t really mean anything, and no more £1m-a-year contracts for doing very little’.

Three days later, Dennis Wise is appointed as executive director (cricket).

Furious at suggestions that his heart is no longer in football, free agent Michael Owen takes less than a fortnight to sign for a new club.

‘I know people expected me to stay in the Premier League,’ he says. ‘But, instead, I have signed for an ambitious outfit that hope to go places in the future’.

Owen’s debut for the Chester racehorse owners’ select XI ends in a 3-0 win.

Owen is replaced after 16 minutes because of a groin injury.

Alan Shearer oversees a summer clear-out that trims a huge number of pounds from Newcastle’s squad.

With Mark Viduka out of the way, though, Shearer decides to turn his attention from matters of weight to matters of finance.

Newcastle start their preseason programme with a strike force of Shola Ameobi and Andy Carroll, with Xisco primed to make an impact from the bench.

‘This strike force will get us out of the Championship’, says Shearer. Twelve months later and his words become reality, as Newcastle kick off the 2010-11 season in League One.

SUNDERLAND:

ELLIS Short completes his takeover of Sunderland and is officially unveiled at a press conference as the club’s sole owner.

‘I’m thrilled to be installed as the chief of Sunderland soccerball,” he says. ‘It’s time for the Black Cats to take over from the Manchester Red Sox as the go-to team in the Premier League roster’.

Niall Quinn is forced to defend Short amid accusations that he is involved in a sport he knows nothing about.

‘I know some people heard Ellis’ acceptance speech and didn’t really think he was making any sense. All I would say is that that’s a Sunderland tradition. I mean did anyone hear one of Ricky Sbragia’s press conferences last season?’ Having appointed a new manager, Sunderland begin the difficult process of moving on players who were signed in the Roy Keane era.

Anthony Stokes, Daryl Murphy and Paul McShane all leave for a pittance, while David Connolly knocks on Quinn’s office door demanding a move of his own. ‘Hold on a minute,”

says Quinn. ‘Didn’t you leave in 2005?’ Having been released, Djibril Cisse reacts angrily to suggestions that he was not fully committed during his season at Sunderland.

‘People have accused me of many things,’ he says.

‘But every day I was at Sunderland, I was always trying’. ‘Yes,’ confirms Sbragia. ‘Djibril was trying – I’ll certainly give him that’.