THREE games into his Middlesbrough career, Matt Clarke knew something was wrong. Movements that had come so easily to him in the past were no longer as simple to perform. His sharpness had vanished, replaced instead by a nagging pain that shot down his spine and occasionally made him wince. Slowly but surely, his performance levels suffered.

A 3-2 home defeat to Cardiff saw him hauled off just after the hour mark. A goalless draw with Rotherham also saw him replaced, and when he was unable to get beyond the 55-minute mark in the 1-0 loss at Coventry City that proved to be Chris Wilder’s final game as manager, it was clear something was fundamentally amiss.

“The last few games I played before stepping out were some of the worst games I’d ever played in my career,” admits Clarke now, with commendable honesty. “Looking back, the injury was obviously the reason for that. I felt really restricted, I felt vulnerable on the pitch a little bit, and I felt as though I couldn’t do what I needed to do.”

Clearly, something needed to change. Little did Clarke know at the time, however, that the solution to the problem was going to leave him on the sidelines for more than a year and lead to a series of setbacks and disappointments that meant the mental demands of his layoff were every bit as challenging as the physical ones.

Turn the clock back 14 months, and the initial prognosis was that Clarke’s back problem would be treatable via a combination of rest, injections and physical manipulation. Suffice to say, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Treatments proved unsuccessful, the pain repeatedly returned and prospective comeback dates were missed. It was case of one step forward, three increasingly agonising steps back.

The hope was that an operation could be avoided, but by the start of this year, it had become clear that that wasn’t going to be the case. Back surgery was booked, and while Clarke was forced to write off the remainder of the season, at least he knew where he stood. Even if, at the time, standing was about all he could manage, such was the debilitating impact of the hospital treatment.

“As a professional footballer, your mind and focus is always on the next game,” he explained. “At the end of a season, you know the date you’re coming back for at the start of pre-season. If you’ve had a hamstring, you’re looking ahead six weeks. Even if you do your ACL or something like that, you’re looking nine months ahead and thinking, ‘Okay, maybe by January I’ll be ready to play’.

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“That wasn’t the case for me. It was indefinite, and when you see the specialists and the path back to where you want to be isn’t clear, and you can’t put dates on things, then that’s really frustrating. Even in the changing room, the lads are asking, ‘When are you going to be back’. If you can’t answer that, it’s a tough place to be.

“I had a month or two of injections and treatment, trying to strengthen a few areas so I could get back, but then one month became two, two months became three and it ended up being an absolute nightmare. It’s probably as bad as it gets as a footballer, when your next game just keeps on getting taken away from you indefinitely.”

Some injured players do everything they can to remain part of things. That was always going to be difficult for Clarke given that he had only joined Middlesbrough a couple of months before his injury issues began, but even if he had been in a more familiar environment, the 27-year-old readily admits his character does not really lend itself to extroversion.

Instead, he retreated from the first-team fold and tried to focus on the long road to recovery. There were good days and bad days, but by the time the summer was coming to an end, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

“Some people maybe try to start at the heart of it, but that’s not really the sort of person I am,” he said. “I’m not someone that likes to be around it, trying to be a part of it, if I can’t really contribute. I find being a part of it is when you can contribute on the pitch. For me, it was almost a case of trying to disappear so I could get my work done and then reappear when I could be of use to the team and the lads.”

By the start of the autumn, Clarke was becoming a much more regular presence at Rockliffe Park. His first full session back on the grass was a big moment, followed by his first appearance in a full-scale training ground game.

The Northern Echo: Matt Clarke in action on the Middlesbrough training groundMatt Clarke in action on the Middlesbrough training ground (Image: MFC)

A couple of behind-closed-doors practice matches enabled him to step things up further, and he was named in a first-team squad under Michael Carrick for the first time when Boro won at Norwich City in late October. He remained an unused substitute for the next five games, but was handed a first senior outing in a more than a year when he came off the bench in the closing stages of last month’s 4-0 win over Preston.

As an experienced professional with more than 300 senior appearances under his belt, he knows what is needed to perform at Championship level. Even so, after so long on the sidelines, it was inevitable a few nagging questions would be present at the back of his mind.

“When you’ve had such a long period off, there’s always that uncertainty and a little bit of anxiety about how you’re going to come back,” he agreed. “You never really know what level you’re going to come back to. Your confidence comes from the games you’ve played before and, for me, it’s been a long time since I’ve played those games.”

Clarke’s second appearance back saw him replace Paddy McNair as a first-half substitute against Leeds United at Elland Road, and last weekend, he made his first start since his injury as Boro lost to Ipswich. The result wasn’t what the centre-half wanted, but individually, it was the final step on a journey that occasionally looked as though it might never have an end.

“I wouldn’t say I feel exactly the same as before, but I feel free to do whatever I want to do,” said Clarke, who is expected to retain his place in the starting line-up for this evening’s home game against Hull City. “When I kept on having to pull out, I felt much the opposite. I felt really restricted, I felt vulnerable on the pitch a little bit, and I felt as though I couldn’t do what I needed to do.

“That’s not the case now. I can do it all, it’s just about finding those levels again and finding the patterns, the pictures. That all comes with a bit of time.”

Time is something Clarke has had plenty of in the last 12 months, and as he has battled his way back to full fitness, so he has been reflecting on those early days as a Boro player and the injury-affected performances he does not want to define him.

“I’m someone who has massive pride in who I am as a person, and what I can do as a player, so when you feel like you can’t give that out on the pitch, it does hurt you a lot,” he said. “I feel like I’ve got a lot to prove. I want to show what I’m really capable of.” 

* Matt Clarke was speaking while attending the MFC Foundation's Champion Children's Christmas Party at the Riverside Stadium, where around 50 families were invited for a special afternoon with visits from the Middlesbrough squad and Michael Carrick.