For Middlesbrough captain Jonny Howson, last season's final day defeat at Preston North End was particularly tough to take for two reasons.
Firstly, because it marked the end of the club's promotion hopes for another year. And secondly, because at that stage Howson wasn't sure what his future looked like. He was out of contract and didn't know if he'd get another crack at going up with Boro.
Now, having signed a one-year extension in the summer, Howson remains as determined as ever to lead Boro to promotion. And although the 34-year-old will again be out of contract again come the end of the season, he has absolutely no plans to hang up his boots yet.
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Howson signed for Boro in 2017 in a summer of bold investment as the club looked to bounce back from Premier League relegation at the first time of asking. The former Leeds United and Norwich City midfielder is the only signing from that summer still at Boro and in his five-and-a-half years on Teesside, he's built a strong connection with the club and the town - which makes him even more determined to achieve what he's been desperately trying to do since he joined.
"I was successful at times at my previous clubs and I know what that can bring to people," said Howson, who has previously won promotion with hometown club Leeds and the Canaries.
"I look back at those moments in my career and they were arguably my two biggest highlights, apart from a couple of individual ones, but as a team they are still the biggest highlights. I want more of that.
"Once you're retired you want to be able to tell your kids, family or whoever that you achieved this or did that. Each to their own, everyone will have their own ambitions, but I want to look back at what I have achieved.
"I've been here a fair few years now and I was brought into a football club and team that was expecting and wanting promotion. We've not done that but we're still trying. I won't stop until I do move on for whatever reason that may be."
Boro were in the relegation zone when Chris Wilder was sacked in October but are now just four points off the top six, with head coach Michael Carrick having only lost two of his seven games in charge.
Last season Nottingham Forest changed managers early in the season and went on a charge up the table, eventually winning promotion through the play-offs.
Howson says a Forest repeat isn't something that has been talked about in the Boro dressing but is something that the players are aware of, for it shows what is possible in the Championship.
"As a player I believe you should be aware of things that have happened and can happen, I'm a big believer in that," said the Boro skipper.
"Everyone should be aware in regards to the Championship that to a certain extent anything can happen. If you put a run together it can be a surprise as to where teams can come from. We always say most years in March time there's one team that comes from nowhere.
"I think that just relates to never give up, keep going because you never know what could happen."
As the end of the season approaches, talk will inevitably turn to Howson's future again, with his current deal due to expire in the summer.
But retirement isn't on his mind. And why would it be? He's as important as he's ever been to Boro and nobody in the squad has played more minutes than the captain this season.
In the twilight of his career, however, Howson appreciates "time is running out" - hence his disappointment at Preston on the final day of last season and his desire to finally win promotion with Boro.
He said: "Going back to Preston, I probably looked at that because I didn't know what was happening at that stage in regards to the future. It's like anything in life. It sounds daft saying it because in life terms I'm still very young but in football terms I'm at the other end of the scale.
"And as you start to get to that stage in your career, you realise how much stuff means. That's just a life skill as well.
"When you miss out on opportunities, you don't know how many chances you'll get. Time is running out and it makes you realise how much you want something.
"I want to play as long as I physically can and to do that I have to look after myself and keep myself in the best possible shape to be available and play week in, week out and to show I can still do it."
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Howson was speaking to the local press at a community Christmas event at the Riverside this week, where fans got the chance to meet players and coaching staff.
The captain said: "It's always nice to spend time with the fans. These fans travel all over the country. It's just about giving a bit back and meeting these supporters.
"Life isn't always plain sailing. There are hard times at the minute for a lot of families. It's a time when we all come together and help everyone out."
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