Ex-Boro & Sunderland striker Charlie Wyke on life after cardiac arrest

For all he dreamed of a return to action, quite simply there'd been too much pain, too much anguish and too many setbacks for him to truly believe he'd be back on the pitch doing what he loves - playing football.

In November, last year, Wyke, a Middlesbrough academy graduate who has enjoyed a fine career, playing and scoring for Carlisle, Bradford City, Sunderland and Wigan, suffered a cardiac arrest during training with the Latics.

His heart stopped beating for four minutes, his life saved by then-Wigan manager Leam Richardson, who, in a remarkable twist of fate, had only completed CPR training a fortnight earlier.

He was resuscitated and survived but that, for Wyke, was only the start. What followed was seven operations and, as he neared a return, another cardiac arrest, again in training, when the defibrillator he'd had fitted activated and shocked his heart back into life.

And then there's the mental toll. The sleepless nights, the anxiety and panic attacks, the constant fear.

"Throughout it all I kept saying I'd get back playing but I never believed I would," said Teessider Wyke, in conversation with The Northern Echo.

"After all those setbacks, I never believed I'd be back. I was probably just saying it to try and help myself through those difficult times.

"Even now, I still think am I being stupid? But then every time I message the doctor, he tells me it's all fine. But that's where the anxiety and the panic attacks come from, it's the fear of it happening again.

"So many things have gone through my head. My little boy was so close to losing his dad and that's so, so scary."

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November 22, 2021.

Wyke and his Wigan teammates were preparing for a trip to Cambridge United in League One the following day, but the striker knew he wasn't quite right. The day earlier he was exhausted and struggled to summon the strength to get out of bed on the morning. He went training on that Monday and mentioned to a couple of teammates he didn't feel himself. He thought he might have contracted covid but could never have imagined the reality of what was around the corner.

There had been "warning signs" a few weeks earlier. During a game at Wimbledon, Wyke had suffered dizziness but tests conducted afterwards came back clear. He brushed it off as something and nothing.

But then, on that Monday in training, everything changed.

He recalls: "It was just a normal session, we were doing some possession, the ball came and I put my foot out and I couldn't see the ball and it just bounced off me and went out.

"Everyone started laughing. I apologised and started chasing because we were in the middle then and I just started going dizzy. It felt different so I pulled myself out of the session and walked to the gaffer. And when I got over to him I just collapsed. Supposedly he caught me and just jumped on my chest and started doing CPR."

Wyke's terrified teammates were told to leave the training field while Richardson and Wigan club doctor Jonathan Tobin dived into action. It was Tobin who saved the life of Bolton's Fabrice Muamba on the pitch at White Hart Lane 10 years ago.

"After I collapsed, I think they were giving me CPR for two minutes," says Wyke.

"I woke up and it felt like, and I know this is a weird explanation, it was like turning the binoculars the other way. Everyone was stood over me but looked so far away. I went back into a cardiac arrest for another two or three minutes.

"I woke up, I had all my sleeves cut off my shirt, I had the defibrillator next to me which they didn't use, my boots were cut off. And I felt fine. I was tired but fine. I started crying because I didn't have a clue what was going on. Everyone was gathered around me, the training pitch was empty. I was asking what was happening, they didn't tell me because they didn't want me to panic. I asked if I could carry on training because I wasn't thinking straight.

"The lads said it was the scariest day of their life, and when I said I don't think I'll ever play again they said, 'Chaz if you'd seen what we saw, you'd never want to play again'. It must have been horrendous for them."

Wyke was rushed to Wigan Hospital and later transferred to Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital, where he had a defibrillator fitted.

Due to covid restrictions his family were unable to visit for the first week.

"That was probably the toughest week of my life," he says.

"I just felt so isolated and scared. When they did visit there was only supposed to be one, but the hospital was really good and let my mam, dad, partner and baby in. When they came in, you can imagine the emotions.

"The first few weeks when I was in hospital it was unbearable for my family."

For Wyke, it was just the start of the mental anguish.

"The first few months it was impossible to sleep. I was staying up until six or seven in the morning then when I did fall asleep I was sleeping to four in the afternoon. I was in that rut.

"I don't know why, I think it's just there was that much trauma it's impossible not to think about it.

"I reckon it was about an hour after it happened I said I want to play again, can I? The doctor said it's unlikely but look what Eriksen has done. Playing again was the first thing that went through my head. I know it shouldn't be but I've played football since I was five years old, it's all I've known."

The long road back to action was littered with obstacles and setbacks: procedures, different medications and another scare that worsened Wyke's understandable anxiety.

"I started training again in April time and at that point I wanted to come back at the end of the season," he says.

"Realistically that was never going to happen but at least I gave myself the goal. But then just as I was closing in on a return, my defibrillator went off in training.

"We started doing possession and I went dizzy again. I know it sounds stupid but I didn't want to say anything, I didn’t know if it was just me. But then someone was trying to talk to me and I couldn't hear them. I collapsed and my defibrillator shocked the heart back into rhythm.

"It was the worst pain I've ever felt. It was like a full body electric shock."

More procedures and a change in medication followed.

"The medication I'm on now, this was basically the last option. Touch wood, since I started on this medication I've had no further setbacks."

He continues: "That was the biggest nightmare - being so close to getting back and then having setback after setback. At times I said what am I doing going through this? When I was training and doing high speed running to get my heart-rate up, I was having panic attacks on the training pitch without telling anyone.

"I just wanted to get back that much. The anxiety and panic attacks I've had over the last year have been unbelievable.  Even now, I don't think I'm back to normal. I've been playing a lot of football but in my head I'll never be 100% again.

"I have spoken to people and had a lot of support and it has worked a bit but it's always in the back of your mind. It's always there and it always will be. If I feel a little bit of pain in my chest I think it's going to happen again."

Cardiologist Rob Cooper is a constant source of reassurance for Wyke. The striker's heart rhythms are uploaded onto an app which Cooper has 24/7 access to.

"He's been absolutely amazing and still is. He's always there for me. He messaged me a couple of months ago saying 'you do realise that before I even say hello to my wife on a morning I'm checking your monitor'," laughs Wyke.

"He puts my mind at rest and reassures me everything is fine."

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August 20, this year, was the day Wyke had been working towards - his return to action, an appearance from the bench and an assist, teeing up the only goal in a 1-0 win at Birmingham City.

"It just felt like relief getting back on the pitch," he says.

"Even if that game was the only one I'd played I'd have been really happy. That was what I worked towards.

"I came on, played really well, got an assist and set up the winner. The lad who scored ran off celebrating one way and I set off the other and everyone came to me! My teammates have been through the journey with me as well and knew how low I was and how much it meant to me.

"Then obviously we went to Sunderland a couple of months ago and I scored and got booed, but when I got subbed off I got a full applause from the full stadium which is nice. When I first left Sunderland and joined Wigan, we played Sunderland the first game and I had the full stadium booing me. When I went back and got booed I actually thought to myself, at least I'm back to normal now, scoring and getting booed."

Wyke doesn't want to be defined by what he's gone through but equally he knows that he can be a source of inspiration though what he's achieved.

"I don't want it to be my identity but I think it is now, to be honest," he says.

"I haven't really done any interviews but the amount of people who reached out to me is unbelievable. People who had the same, whose families have had the same. You can't reply to thousands but it made me realise how many people go through it."

Dealing with manager exits is obviously something players quickly get used to but for Wyke the sacking of Richardson at Wigan last month was obviously hard to take.

"I was devastated," he says.

"I thought he was a brilliant manager and he'll have a great career but obviously because of what he did for me. He signed me and gave me a three-year deal at Wigan. When I was coming back I wanted to get back for him as well as my family. He's a brilliant guy.

"When I got back into training for the first time I felt really awkward. I don't know why but I just wanted to thank him every day. At the end of the season he pulled me and said, 'I don't look at you as Charlie Wyke who had a cardiac arrest, I look at you as Charlie Wyke my number nine for next season'. That was unbelievable. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I just want to play football.

"When my family first saw him and the doctor after what had happened, they just started crying. I hope I keep in touch with him forever. I don't think he realises how much he means to me and my family.

"He'll never, ever understand how much he means to me and it's same for the doctors after what they've done for me."

Does Wyke feel proud of himself for sticking at it, for not giving up, for returning to the pitch?

He says: "It's a weird one because I don't ever think that. All my family say to me how proud they are but I never look and feel proud of myself because I had no choice basically. This was the only choice I had.

"A lot of people have said just call it a day, your family means too much, but I thought if I never try and just retire I'll always look back and think what if? What if I could have got back? Obviously thank god I did because I'm back playing now. I think it would have been even worse long term not playing again without trying.

"You know how bad it is for footballers when they retire, the depression and mental health problems, imagine just having it instantly taken away from you and not playing again like I did? At least people can prepare for retirement."

In the here and now, Wyke hasn't played for more than a month, a knee injury keeping him out of action and ruling him out of Wigan's game at Middlesbrough on Boxing Day.

He's "devastated" about that but equally is well aware of the fact that in the whole scheme of things it's a small setback.

He says: "That was the first fixture I looked for. When it was on Boxing Day I couldn't believe it. All my family pre-ordered their tickets. My dad was going to get a box.

"That's the biggest disappointment of the season. That would have been my first time back at the Riverside since I left and would have been a proud moment, playing against my hometown club in front of a sell-out, all my mates would be there. That's a blow, but it's just another setback."

He continues: "I've learnt a lot over the past year. When you have nothing wrong with you, you complain about everything, everyday things.

"But you never know when your last day is going to be, so you need to grasp opportunities and don't put things off.

"One of my best mates is a big Boro fan and is going through a horrendous time right now, he's really, really poorly.

"I'm back playing football for a living and sometimes might complain about stupid things, little niggles, or my injury now. But when I think about what my friend is going through now, football is nothing at the end of the day.

"I've always been a chilled out and positive person anyway but now I appreciate every day. A year ago I could have had it all wiped away. That would have impacted so many people.

"You take things for granted, we all do, but I've been given another chance and I cherish every day."