THE 2012 party conference season is over for another year.

If there was ever a cure for insomia then this was it.

Tired of counting sheep? Just try watching a closing party conference – Tory style.

Chancellor George Osborne, who is set to borrow more money in five years than Labour did in 13, took to the stage first.

Above him was a huge poster boasting “Britain can deliver”

and it has – at the rate of three soup kitchens a week!

At least the poor won’t need to worry about the electricity blackouts. Millions won’t be able to afford it.

According to the Chancellor, taking more cash from the rich does nothing to help the ecomomy, but taking it from the poor does so he’s pruning an extra £10bn from the welfare bill.

By the time David Cameron stepped on stage for his speech,he'd just celebrated his 46th birthday with a caterpillar cake.

An apt choice given the fact the Tories are two years into a coalition that has yet to start.

“Britain is on the right track”

was one the PM’s opening lines – let’s hope it's not the same track he took when he announced the shambolic West Coast rail franchise.

Thank goodness these bashes happen just once a year.

Speeches like these would give an asprin a headache.

Stephen Dixon, Redcar.