IT must be an incredibly strenuous job being a contender at Wimbledon this year – rushing from corner to corner, racing back and forth, maintaining that essential fluid intake and grabbing ample portions of food that will keep one sustained during the long day ahead.

Yes, welcome to a day in the life of a Royal Bank of Scotland Wimbledon freeloader.

RSB, the bank that was bailed out with £20bn of taxpayer’s money has just laid on £260,000 of grandiose hospitality for its executives and their clients.

Even before you can utter the famous phrase “You cannot be serious” RSB staff have been served with an array of gourmet food and drink.

To get the ball rolling they have enjoyed deluxe lobster platters, grilled fillet of the finest country beef and baked Anglesey sea bass.

This was all washed down with the finest bubbly money can buy – your money.

The only recorded cases of tennis elbow this year were caused from the constant lifting of the world’s finest champers.

Normal service has been resumed.

Stephen Dixon, Redcar.