THE Society for the Prevention of Applied Commonsense has been given grant aid by the EEC to investigate the great North- South divide.

Our remit is to find out where the divide is located and to draw up maps that show the demarcation position.

In order to discover where this point is we need to gather information from your readers.

Afterwards, we intend to organise a competition to design an appropriate road sign that will warn unwary travellers that they are heading into the North – a deprived and devastated area of the country with no job prospects.

A further remit is to find out why northern people don’t simply move south of the demarcation line where they will surely prosper.

Chris Davies, Bishop Auckland.