THE council tax system is like the derelict Brighton pier I saw on my conference travels – wrecked beyond repair, yet no-one will put it out of its misery.

The victims of this political cowardice are hard-working councillors who must make more desperate cuts next year and the poorer people who depend on rapidly-disappearing town hall services.

The winners are Conservative politicians – who gleefully point to populist headlines out of ridiculous claims to be “freezing council tax” – and wealthier homeowners who escape paying their fair share.

This crumbling ruin received another heavy blow last week, when the Government told councils to rule out any increase in bills for the third year running.

This was the sort of terrifying offer made by Marlon Brando in The Godfather – one that ministers believe cannot be refused only because the awful alternative is the equivalent of finding the severed head of a horse in the bed.

To recap, town halls have been offered a Whitehall grant that’s the equivalent of just a one per cent rise in council tax – a huge cut on the 2.5 per cent increase funded for 2011- 12 and 2012-13.

With RPI inflation currently running at 2.6 per cent, any council taking up the offer will be accepting a real-terms cut in funding – and further, painful cuts to services.

Darlington Borough Council warned of a fresh £2.5m “black hole” in its budget. But – if it opts for a rise above two per cent – it must win an expensive referendum, during an economic downturn.

That’s where the horse’s severed head comes in.

Now, what this sorry episode proved – apart from exposing the terrible blunder of leaving the calamitous Eric Pickles in charge of local government – was that the council tax system is broken beyond hope.

After all, if ministers believe any increase in bills is unacceptable in the middle of a parliament, you can bet your house they will try to freeze bills through to the general election, in 2015.

But, because money has run out in Whitehall, councils will be forced into more cuts to social care, leisure centres and libraries – and all to save residents about 80p a week.

The only long-term solution is to axe council tax and give town halls a proper cash base to save vital local services, properly taxing property, or land, values.

But it could be patched-up by ending the scandal of council tax stopping at Band H.

Incredibly, the same tax is paid on all houses valued at more than £320,000 at 1991 prices – which means, in parts of London, half the houses.

Wales showed some guts, introducing a higher band for wealthier properties – and the Lib Dems recently proposed up to three new bands at the top of the scale – but David Cameron stamped on the idea.

Change would require ministers to show true courage – which is why it has never happened, under this Government or the last.

MIDDLESBROUGH MP Sir Stuart Bell, who died at the weekend, was always courteous and patient in all our encounters – but he kept quiet his achievement in a crucial, yet often-forgotten, part of journalism, his first job.

According to one obituary, Sir Stuart notched up an incredible 150-words-aminute shorthand – putting my 100-wordsa- minute firmly in the shade.