App-rentice

AFTER only two episodes, the latest series of The Apprentice has all the makings of being one of the best. All the ingredients are in place with the “casting” department – those who choose the contestants – doing a brilliant job of getting a mix of the good, the bad and the hilarious. I mean, what were those black gloves all about when Edna did her apps presentation to a room of computer geeks?

The girls have been playing second fiddle to the all-round uselessness of the men, although everyone – Lord Sugar included – was surprised that the dismal apps they invented beat the boys’ team, not because it was good, but simply because it achieved more downloads.

Who are these people who download apps filled with noises designed to annoy their friends? Then again, the whole concept of the boys’ app (insults mouthed in different regional accents) was just waiting to be labelled offensive.

Lord Sugar eventually fired the contestant who hadn’t done anything (at least nothing that we’d seen in the first two programmes) rather than project manager Leon, who’d led his team to disgrace and defeat.

Fuelled by lack of common sense and sheer incompetence, it’s impossible at this stage to even hazard a guess who Lord Sugar will choose to be his apprentice.

Much praise, though, for Dara O’Briain’s show You’ve Been Fired, which follows on BBC2, at 10pm. The fired contestant is made to watch his mistakes in front of a panel and audience, while the host humiliates him – with humour. It’s part of The Apprentice ritual now and a very enjoyable aspect.

THE problem with The British Soap Awards is that they were held on Sunday and the winners named have been publicised. Let’s pretend no one knows so as not to spoil it for those ignorant that (Blankety Blank) was voted sexiest male alive.

EastEnders has scored a hat-trick of best British soap wins at the awards, but Coronation Street hopes last year’s 50th anniversary celebrations will help it break the winning streak.

The 50th anniversary offering – the live episode in which the tram crashed over the viaduct and onto the street – is nominated for Best Single Episode and the crash for Spectacular Scene of the Year.

EastEnders is a tough act to beat, although you shouldn’t forget Emmerdale, which has produced some of the most dramatic storylines of the year, notably the Aaron and Jackson story.

Albert Square residents Jessie Wallace and Shane Richie – Kat and Alfie Moon – have picked up a string of nominations after their controversial comeback in the BBC1 show. They include a nomination for best on-screen partnership and best actress and actor respectively. The baby swapping drama is also nominated for best storyline.

On the subject of Corrie, Keith Duffy (Ciaran) and newcomer Chris Fountain (Tommy) are hoping for the sexiest male accolade. EastEnders’ Scott Maslen (Jack) and Emmerdale’s Danny Miller (Aaron) are in the running, too.

Corrie’s Michelle Keegan (Tina) is in the running for Sexiest Female, which she won in 2009 and last year.

The choice for best British soap is is Corrie, EastEnders, Doctors, Emmerdale or Hollyoaks. The Street has only won four times in that category since 1999, while EastEnders has won eight times.

DESPERATE Housewives reaches its 150th episode with bad news for Susan (played by Teri Hatcher) She has another funny turn and is admitted to hospital where she receives devastating news – her kidney is failing fast, dialysis isn’t working and, if she doesn’t get a transplant soon, she’ll die.

She’s advised to spend as much time as possible doing the things she’s always wanted but hasn’t done yet, so she spends the day with Mike – unfortunately, his efforts to make it memorable go horribly wrong.

Meanwhile, Bree discovers she and Beth are perfect matches with Susan, so can donate a kidney.