Boom Bang-a-Bang: 50 Years Of Eurovision (BBC1); Who Stole The World Cup? (C4): There can be no surprise why the UK didn't win the 1957 Eurovision Song Contest as the entry's lyrics proceeded thus: "Looking high, high, high, Looking low, low, low. Tell me why, why, why, Did she go, go, go?"
My suspicion is she went, went, went because she was fed up with Bryan Johnson repeating the same words over and over again.
To think the song was written by a schoolmaster. Not an English teacher, hopefully.
Terry Wogan reminded us in Boom Bang-a-Bang of other lyrics heard over the years. There's been plenty of la-la-la-la-la-la and the occasional dippy-dip-a-dee, as well as such word play as "Your breasts are like swallows in nesting" (which surely lost something in the translation).
This programme offered no deep and meaningful assessment of what makes the song contest tick, but was something much more in keeping with the spirit of the competition - silly, superficial and entertaining in a dumb sort of way.
Wogan was on hand to prick any sign of seriousness with a dreadful joke, such as Dana International not being an airport for Dublin (but an Israeli transsexual who won in 1998 in case you're confused).
It was good to be reminded how well the UK has done over the years, coming second no less than 15 times in true "always the bridesmaid" fashion.
There was Abba beating the British in Brighton with Waterloo and Norway getting nul points. Hosts made silly jokes and insisted on singing to each other. Celine Dion won for Switzerland, beating the UK by one point. The UK's Jemini came home without a single point. And Wogan himself attempted to present the show in French.
Who Stole The World Cup? posed a question for which the makers didn't really have an answer. No amount of help from police records and recently-unearthed personal accounts could lead to the thieves being identified.
The sole villain who served time for the crime only admitted to being the middle man in ransom demands between the thieves and the Football Association. But it's a fascinating story, told here by policemen, crooks and players from the winning 1966 England World Cup squad.
Nobby Stiles recalled how, in the dressing room after the match, the Jules Rimet trophy was snatched from him and another identical cup placed in his hands. This was a bronze replica ordered by the FA as soon as the trophy was stolen from a stamp exhibition.
The real cup - found wrapped in newspaper in his front garden by Pickles the dog - was presented to captain Bobby Moore at the match but then switched so thieves couldn't steal it again.
People who flocked to see the cup as it toured the country had no idea it wasn't the real thing. That was locked safely in a bank vault.
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