Gordon’s Great Escape (C4, 9pm); Celebrity Quitters (Five, 7.30pm); Dear Diary (BBC4, 9pm)

REGULAR presenters on C4 have been packed off abroad as part of the Indian Winter season. Last week, we saw Grand Design’s Kevin Mc- Cloud in the slums, tonight it’s the turn of foul-mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who goes a long way to get a takeaway.

Gordon’s Great Escape sees Ramsay touring India to experience the stunning diversity of its culinary traditions, while immersing himself in all aspects of its culture, no matter how challenging, unfamiliar or extreme.

His journey, so we’re told, showcases the stunning scenery, diverse people and an abundance of delicious, mouthwatering food. Never mind the cooking, will he manage to stop using the F-word in the company of his hosts.

In the first of three programmes, Ramsay’s odyssey begins in the north of India, home of our curry house classics. On board an express train he’s thrown in at the deep end cooking for its many passengers in the train’s cramped pantry car.

Later, he meets his match working for a cantankerous royal chef, preparing a biryani with a difference for a huge wedding feast. Then he ventures into the jungle, where ants nip him when he scales a 40ft tree in search of the local tribe’s favourite delicacy.

In the second episode, tomorrow, he heads off the tourist track into impenetrable north-east India, home of the country’s best-kept culinary secrets.

Leaving the 21st Century behind, he immerses himself in the life of a local meatloving tribe in Nagaland, once better known for head-hunting than their curries.

Then he’s off to Assam to enter a housewives’ competition to find the best Assamese dish.

Finally he sets up shop among the street food stalls of Calcutta to try to tempt the local foodies into buying northeast curry – Ramsay style.

In the final programme, on Wednesday, Ramsay heads for Tamil Nadu and a meatfree zone, where he faces his biggest culinary nightmare: living in an ashram, where the only food on the menu is vegetarian.

His last stop in Mumbai, where he visits the city’s slums and later sees how the other half lives (and eats) as he cooks alongside one of the country’s top chefs for a star-studded dinner at the Taj Hotel.

THE five sort-of-famous people in Celebrity Quitters aren’t attempting to give up seeking celebrity status.

Linda Robson, John Burton Race, Chloe Madeley, Paul Danan and Derek Acorah are trying to stop smoking, using a variety of methods to wean themselves off the killer weed.

TV psychic Acorah is the heaviest smoker of the lot, puffing his way through 40 to 50 cigarettes a day. He’s about to turn 60 and doesn’t need to be psychic to know that smoking is going to kill him.

Former Birds of a Feather star Robson recently started smoking again after 17 years. With a history of heart disease in her family, she’s determined to live long enough to see her grandchildren grow up.

Award-winning chef Burton Race wants to quit for the sake of his five-yearold son, not to mention stopping his own health and fitness deteriorating health.

Ex-Hollyoaks thesp Danan is told his “lung age” is 46 years – 15 more than his actual age. But will that be enough to make him stub out his fag?

DEAR Diary continues to read other people’s diaries, this time attempting to discover what diaries can offer to history.

Rory Bremner meets Victoria Wood, who reveals why she’s captivated by the notes of a housewife who lived through the Second World War.

He talks to Edwina Currie about Samuel Pepys’ work – and we all know he kept a good diary – and finds out from Jane Clark about her late politician husband Alan Clark’s writing.

Bremner also examines Scott of the Antarctic’s diary at the British Library.