Coarse specialist

THE title rather gives it away but it’s worth pointing out that Krod Muldoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire is not a bit like My Family. Thank goodness.

It’s that rare beast – a silly, some might say juvenile, costume comedy that cheerfully ignores the rules of political correctness and opts for coarse double entendres, rather than subtle wordplay. I like it already.

The motto is anything for a laugh – Matt Lucas in a hairy codpiece, a pagan warrior named Aneka who uses sex as a weapon, and a chap called Horst Draper, whose name is eerily reminiscent of his chief pleasure in life.

Sean Maguire, whom you may recall from EastEnders, and a less-than-successful pop career, is the buffed-up warrior hero Krod Muldoon, who inspires people to say things like, “I would follow you into the gnawing gates of hell”.

F r e e d o m fighter camp follower Bruce will be first in line.

“The general told me how yummy you were,” he says, admiring Krod’s fine physique. He’s particularly put out when time is called on a pagan gang bang.

“Three hundred men locked, loaded and looking for love and you’re closing up shop? Are you crazy?

Hello, boys…”

Aneka is the original good time had by all, willing to do anything, anywhere, any time to find out the facts. “Why do you think the cobbler told us what time it was?,”

she asks Krod.

Little Britain star Matt Lucas is a joy as Dongalor, the evil and, most probably mad, ruler, with Alex Mac- Queen as his toadying sidekick, Barnabus.

They’re a double act to treasure as they try to combat Krod’s winning ways with villagers as he arrives in town to announce: “My name is Krod Muldoon and I will be your liberator tonight”.

This is the sort of series where the comment “It’ll take more than one arrow to kill the general”, is followed by half a dozen more arrows thudding into his chest.

The series has the look of a feature film, a reflection of either a generous budget or a modest one well and imaginatively spent. They’ve even employed a classierthan- usual narrator in Michael Gambon.

After tonight’s double episode, the series settles down to a half-hour slot, a more comfortable length for a comedy like this. It could easily become, if not mass, then certainly cult viewing.

MAY Contain Nuts, on the other hand, probably looked better on paper than on screen. Based on John O’Farrell’s satirical novel, this seems decidedly old-fashioned. Not quite as dreadful as My Family, but veering dangerously close to boring sit-com.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have had children, just a couple of golden retrievers,”

says Alice (Shirley Henderson) in one of her less irritating moments.

She and husband David (Darren Boyd) have moved into a gated community and want to send their children to the local private school.

This could be a problem for their young son with his penchant for dressing up in his mother’s clothes at the slightest opportunity.

He’s clearly a Bruce in the making.

“Has he been going to state nursery?,”

inquires one of the Chaplin’s snooty neighbours, trying to understand the child’s cross-dressing tendencies.

Alice is determined her children won’t go to the local comprehensive which, it’s suggested, “looks like a remand centre”.

The place falls into the same category as the local council estate, a no-go area, being a hotbed of gang warfare, drug dealing and underage sex (a bit like life in the fantasy realm of Krod Muldoon).

The first of the two-part series ends – but not soon enough for me – with the sight of Alice pulling on a schoolgirl uniform.

She’s on a mission, not to play sex games in the bedroom, but to pretend to be her daughter so she can sit the entrance exams in her place and ensure she becomes a pupil.