What joker in the five scheduling department decided to follow How To Have Sex After Marriage with a re-run of the film The Long Kiss Goodnight? Is that what happens if we follow advice offered in this new sex help show?

Each week, three experts show a couple how to put the passion back in their bedroom. Or as one puts it: "Once a vibrant sex life has ground to a halt, they come to us to reignite it."

The willing participants - thirtysomethings Rick and Megan for starters - subject themselves to mental, physical and sexual therapy, followed by a second honeymoon in a romantic location. Whether they consider, on reflection, that a free holiday is just reward for exposing their innermost feelings on national TV is another matter.

As often is the case in these therapy shows, the root of the problem is blatantly obvious although it takes three TV experts to tell the couple.

Rick and Megan have five children between them from previous relationships. Six years ago they had a child together, Charlie, who was born with congenital heart disease.

Rick gave up his job to look after sick Charlie. Megan gave up having a life of her own. Their sex life became as dead as a dodo. They thought, even if they didn't put it into words, that it was wrong to enjoy themselves and have sex like they did before, while their son was so ill.

Rick spends most evenings down the social club and his seduction technique when he returns is less than subtle, running along the lines of "Come on, suck this". Perhaps he's referring to a bag of barley sugars.

The marriage has reached crisis point. There's only one thing they can do - turn to the TV and invite Anjula, Catherine and Sam into their home. They are a relationship psychotherapist, a dating expert and a sex writer respectively.

Their methods can be cruel. First up, the couple must rate each other out of ten for emotion, appearance and sex. This, Anjula informs us, exposes the areas that need work. "A harsh but effective way of seeing where your marriage is at," she says.

Rick and Megan give each other rock bottom scores. Anjula steps in. Megan must recite a mantra, following the theory that if she says it enough, she'll feel it's true. At which point I felt like chanting "programmes like this exploit vulnerable people for the entertainment of others" but restrained myself.

Megan proves reluctant, dismissing this technique as "a crock of s***" and saying she can't do it. Rick gets the better end of the deal - a dinner jacket and a charm school session with an etiquette expert.

By this point, viewers as well as Rick and Megan may be frustrated by the lack of sex. Quick call in the experts. Rick gets a masterclass in oral sex from Georgia, who has 30 years of research in this area. Lucky old her, you may be thinking.

She brings a plastic model of a lower female torso on which Rick can practise. Georgia says the technique is virtually foolproof.

"You couldn't make a mistake unless you started using your teeth," she says.

Megan is given a vibrator. This strikes her as more interesting than chanting.

"I'm going to use this until these batteries are dead," she says. It certainly beats sucking barley sugars.

Then she's given four semi-naked models - two men, two women - and props, including whips, to do with as she likes in a photo session. "Let your imagination run wild, connect with your sexual side," she's told. Viewers may need no encouragement to do just that. Just try not to spill your cocoa on the carpet is my expert advice.

Their reward is a repaired marriage and a stay in a five-star luxury hotel in Tunisia where they enjoy camel rides, although that's not perhaps the hump they were hoping for.