TALK is cheap, so they say. Cheap as chips, as another of today's candidates for discussion, David Dickinson, would say. And that makes it attractive to profits-down ITV which fills the daytime schedules will idle chatter.

An hour of Loose Women (one of the better examples of the talk show) and an hour of Antony Cotton (about which the least said the better), with Alan Titchmarsh sandwiched in between.

The set looks like Paul O'Grady's old one has been disguised by putting a few fake trees about the place to reflect his horticultural leanings.

Unlike Cotton, Titchmarsh is an old hand at interviewing, going back to his Pebble Mill days. He's relaxed, chummy and clearly delights the audience which, I wouldn't mind betting, contains a goodly percentage of elderly ladies.

"Oh, you are so kind," says Titchmarsh, coming on to the sound of applause. He promises us Rick Stein, Ben Fogle and "the truth about the opera star and Paul McCartney".

He didn't leave the last item at that. "It's better than the truth about me and Liz Hurley," he joked, adding, "that'll get the wife going at home." Assuming she hasn't found something better to do that watch her husband's show.

The programme feels obliged to discuss the issues of the day with a couple of rent-a-quote regulars, Ann Widdecombe and Nick Ferrari. The pasta-advertising MP was outraged over plans to take the Queen off our passports.

It was, she asserted, like replacing Shakespeare with Eminen - or she may have meant M&Ms, which would have made as much sense.

Titchmarsh played blatantly to the crowd. During a debate on the ineffectiveness of Asbos, he turned to the audience and said: "Ninety per cent of the nation want to go back to a clip round the ear."

Kissing dogs, MPs in commericals ("I wouldn't advertise it if I didn't like it," claimed Widdecombe) and fat children taken into care were all discussed and discarded within the wink of an eye. But then, this isn't Question Time.

And so it went on. Rick Stein cooked fish, Jason Isaacs talked about playing Lucius in the Harry Potter movies and Ben Fogle brought out his vet dad and some cute pups to show the audience.

Titchmarsh reminded us that Fogle rowed across the Atlantic naked. "He now has blisters in places where most of us don't have places," joked our host.

Fogle now plans to walk to the South Pole and, you won't be surprised to learn, he won't be doing the 500-mile journey in the nude. Some brass monkeys have told him that's not advisable.

As for the truth about the opera singer and the Beatle - this was disappointing. When Titchmarsh repeated stories that the Beatle had asked her out and she'd said no, all she had to reveal was that the reports weren't true. Anyone expecting salacious tittle-tattle would have been disappointed.

Daytime also brings us the antique, sorry antiques expert, David Dickinson on a regular basis in Dickinson's Real Deal. This is a cross between Deal Or No Deal and The Antiques Show. Members of the public bring along their heirlooms and nick-nacks. An expert offers them cash. If they don't take that deal, they can sell the item at auction.

The most entertaining are the ones who try to bargain with the sometimes-stingy experts as they pull bundles of notes from their pocket and plonk them down on the table.

It's all a gamble. One seller turned down £32 for jewellery and was rewarded when it sold for £82 at auction. "This has taken us a little by surprise," admitted Dickinson.

Alan was able to stick two fingers up at the experts and say: "I told you so" after he rejected £300 for his vase, only to see it sell for over £1,000 at auction.

"Didn't big Al do well with his Moorcroft," said Dickinson.