What Not To Wear (BBC1, 8pm)
Considering what presenters Mica Paris and Lisa Butcher decide to do in the first of the new series, the programme might better be called What Not To Do.
Not content with messing with the contents of people's wardrobes, this pair of meddlers decide to mess with their heads too. This takes them into dangerous Freudian territory as they separate two pairs of identical twins.
Are they really justified, or even qualified, in taking such extreme measures just to improve the fashion sense of these women? There are moments when it seems these amateur Dr Frankinsteins are ruining the lives of those they claim to be helping as twins are ripped apart.
For starters, 25 sets of identical twins arrive to be inspected by the Paris/Butcher partnership. First, the pair engage in idle chit-chat, with Lisa telling an amusing (to her) story about dating an identical twin. At the end of the evening she found the other twin in bed waiting for her. She doesn't go into detail about what he was waiting for, but I don't think it was a cup of cocoa. I couldn't help thinking it would be even more fun if both twins had been waiting under the covers.
Perhaps that experience puts her off choosing the two male twins who volunteer for the show with a comment of "very handsome, but look like they work in a kebab shop".
The four sets of twins on the short list are dismissed after being called "all pretty bland". The only reason they'd turn heads in the street is because they are twins, say the presenters.
Instead of choosing one set of twins, Mica and Lisa opt to take one twin from two sets and give them a makeover so they look entirely different to their other left-out twin.
"It would be fascinating to do," says Mica, seemingly blind to the psychological havoc she'll be causing.
Nancy and Pippa, the chosen ones, don't look very happy on hearing news of the separation. They start crying, and continue to do so at regular intervals. This isn't surprising as losing your twin must be like being ripped in half.
"They're horrified, look at their faces," says Lisa, unsympathetically I thought, as the enormity of their plan sinks in.
"Are we doing the right thing?," she wonders. I suppose they're being cruel to be kind. The twins left behind have feelings of jealousy, and worry they'll end up looking like the poor relation once their other halves have been given new clothes, hair and make-up.
Both Nancy and Pippa have psychological problems caused by living in such close proximity to their twins. Nancy's twin Mary is the bossier of the two, while Pippa's twin Jenny has always been considered prettier (which must be disheartening as they're supposed to be identical).
Nancy and Mary, both married with a child each, share a house, resulting in Nancy's husband being known at work as "Johnny Two Wives".
Pippa feels that separating twins "doesn't come into the dictionary" but admits she needs a confidence boost.
Part of the punishment, sorry makeover, is to hear what friends and colleagues think of you. Nancy's boss doesn't hold back, commenting on her frumpy dress sense.
He has a point and, as part of the treatment, she's banned from buying black on being given £2,000 to shop for clothes. Nancy is told she "needs to climb out of the black hole".
Pippa is banned "from looking like a bloke", as Mica puts it. "How can a woman be this beautiful and dress herself like a pauper?"
She's told to follow the three Fs when shopping - fitted, feminine and funky. "You have to fall in love with yourself," advises Mica, who's obviously been having an affair with herself for years.
It does prove worth all the tears and tantrums. Newly-confident Nancy and Pippa seem to think so, and certainly look better than their former selves.
Even their rejected twins are given a mini-makeover courtesy of the What Not To Wear team as a guilty conscience gets the better of Mica and Lisa.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article