Driving mad

CELEBRITIES do occasionally have their uses. If they appear in enough reality shows, the chances are that some day they'll do something that does more than pay their mortgage.

Jo Brand, who seems to have abandoned being a stand-up comedienne, turns up in all sorts of TV situations, from learning a musical instrument to panel games.

Following last week's rant by John Sergeant against four-wheel drive vehicles, she steps forward in Driving Me Crazy to have a go at elderly drivers.

She has a point. Seeing 101-year-old driver Tom - yes, 101 - at the wheel speaks volumes, especially the way he takes ages to reverse out of his drive, mounting the pavement in his attempt to locate the correct side of the road.

Brand needs to say little, Tom's driving says it all. A lot of viewers will be nodding

their heads in agreement as she argues that the over-70s should have compulsory tests to see if they're competent to drive.

When he reached 100, Tom was advised by his doctor to stop

driving. He refused, continuing to make short journeys in his car. "I don't go far," he says, although surely it's not how far you go but how safely you drive. Physically, old age brings poor eyesight and slower reflexes not to mention less mobility in the joints. You need to be tip-top to drive a car.

Gary Roberts is evidence that older drivers should stick to the bus. The motorcyclist was hit by "an old guy who did a U-turn on the dual carriageway" and collided with Gary's motorbike. He was left semi-paralysed from the neck down.

Brand conducts an unscientific test to see how three old folk cope with an emergency stop, parallel parking and an eyesight test. One couldn't see, one couldn't stop and two couldn't, as she puts it, "park to save their lives".

Hearing of accidents involving elderly drivers does nothing to instill confidence in them. Like the driver in his 70s who ploughed through a school playground - fortunately ten minutes after break time - and into a classroom wall.

Or how about the driver who put his vehicle into reverse by mistake and drove backwards up the bonnet of the car behind until his rear types became imbedded in the windscreen.

She does find some responsible drivers in 94-year-old Harry and his wife, Betty, 91, who had the good sense to take a driving assessment last year. They passed with flying colours.

When Betty began driving at 19, cars didn't have indicators. Drivers used hand signals instead. "Don't flick your cigarette outside, it's very misleading," advised a training film of the time.

Brand feels sorry for June, a 71-year-old learner driver hoping to pass her test so she can take her cancer-suffering husband to the hospital for treatment. She fails and quite rightly so, judging by the way the examiner is forced to grab the wheel and steer the car back into the right lane.

The title of Andrew Marr's History Of Modern Britain makes his new series sound like more of a chore than a pleasure to watch.

Don't be put off by a title hinting at a boring history lesson. Marr is an aimiable guide through the post-World War Two period as Britain rejects Churchill and elects Clement Atlee's Labour Government by a landslide. That's gratitude for you - Winston saves them from the Germans and they give him the push.

Marr actually makes history interesting with the help of a nice turn of phrase and archive footage. As he says of Churchill's defeat, "The British people proved to be a stroppy lot, unpredictable and unsentimental".

Atlee, on the other hand, was "an old-fashioned do-gooder of the very best sort", with his policy of fair shares for all and the aim of taking care of the sick, jobless, old and poor.

One problem, Britain was going bankrupt. So the begging bowl was passed round in the US, whose economy boomed during the war.

After three months of haggling, the Americans agreed to lend Britain four billion dollars. The loan was finally paid off in December 2006. Just think of the interest we must have paid.