Bad swear day

A LOT of children swear. I don't think anyone would dispute that. If you've ever been on a bus or train with a bunch of schoolchildren or overheard them talking in a group, you'll have been aware of all the effing and blinding.

Not all children swear, at least, not in the presence of their parents, but to some, uttering the f-word comes as naturally as brushing their teeth.

Cutting Edge attempts to find out if it's just part of being a teenager; of growing up. Perhaps it's peer pressure that makes them behave like their friends?

Or could it be the bad influence of television and music?

Nothing but questions with answers hard to come by.

Fuelled with a comment about Britain's reputation as one of the most foul-mouthed nations in the world, the programme's makers go to a high school in Wolverhampton to experiment on the pupils.

The school's behaviour record is rated as very good, although the effing and blinding level sounds pretty high when students are given camcorders to record daily life outside the classroom.

They find some youngsters who do not swear and would like it to be stamped out in the school.

Litania, who wants to be a criminal barrister, feels there are other ways of expressing your feelings than swearing.

Headteacher Peter Coates allows the experts to experiment on the 1,100 pupils.

He can do what he wants because there are Government guidelines on swearing. His preferred punishment is "internal exclusion" -sending naughty pupils to the Red Room.

Novelist, agony aunt, mother and Christian Anne Atkins goes off to 15-year-old Matthew's bedroom to see what he does when his parents aren't around.

He doesn't call himself a "sweary" person, although with his own TV, computer and music system in his room, he is exposed to much bad language.

Viz creator Simon Donald is recruited as the author of a best-selling dictionary of rude words and phrases.

His approach is more direct. He discusses swear words with pupils and gets them to vote for their favourites.

The results surprise him. The c-word, his tip for the top, only makes third place, behind b*****d at number two, and the f-word as top of the effing pops.

Eventually, teachers and pupils decide on a week of no swearing in the school. The arrival of a police officer seems to indicate those who break the rules might be locked up.

Not to worry, he's only the chairman of governors, who happens to be a police officer.

FORMER political reporter John Sergeant is angry, without using swear words, in Driving Me Crazy, the first in a series allowing celebrities to mouth off on motoring matters.

His particular pet hates are 4x4s, mostly the fact that the vehicles are used in urban areas rather than off-road, for which they're designed.

Three 4x4 owners were rounded up to undergo a series of tests in an attempt to convince them that they should get rid of their "monster motors".

I like Jennifer's comment when she messed up her three-point turn.

"Failed like a kipper," she says. Now, a fish driving a 4x4, that would be a sight to behold.

Another driver, Mark, can't help but be alarmed by the safety aspect. Children are lined up behind his high vehicle and he fails to see them, in his mirrors or out the back window, until nine youngsters are there. He could easily have reversed over them, unaware of their presence.

These cars are also gas guzzlers and lethal in accidents. The sight of a 4x4 slicing through a family car like a knife through butter was horrifying.

Far worse than hearing any teenager swear.