GIVE thanks the next time your local council fills in a pesky pothole, because it is not just protecting your car suspension – it is creating a Northern Powerhouse.

Similarly, if a new bus or cycle lane goes in – or traffic-calming, on a busy road – raise a hearty cheer. It is all delivering George Osborne’s promised economic boom.

Now, you may have heard of the Government’s pledge to spend £13bn on transport to “build the Northern Powerhouse”, but just how that figure was reached will shock you…..

This £13bn vow first popped up in the March Budget and has been repeated many times since, proof of the Chancellor’s iron-clad commitment.

Only this week, local government minister James Wharton, the Stockton South MP, said: “This Government is investing £13bn in rail in the North.” If only, James.

Most of you probably think a cure for the North’s chronically poor rail links is key to any Northern Powerhouse – and, guess what, David Cameron agrees.

Asked to explain the soundbite, the Prime Minister replied: “The concept means linking the great cities of the North of England.”

So just how much of this fabled £13bn, to be spent over five years, will go on better railways?

Well, the answer is just £3bn, or under one quarter, but it’s much worse than that, if you’ll bear with me… You may think £10bn on better roads sounds quite tasty, but only half of that sum is for major routes, including upgrades to the A1 and A19 in this region.

Some of the other £5bn will fund the ‘Integrated Transport Block Capital Grant’ – otherwise known as small-scale projects to help cyclists, speed up buses, or slow cars.

And the rest is the money given to councils for “local highways maintenance” – or filling in potholes and the like.

Now, no-one hates a pothole more than this keen cyclist, but I don’t think plugging them will allow the North to compete with London, Paris and Berlin for economic supremacy! What nonsense.

But what of the £3bn for rail? Well, £1.1bn has already been “spent” in a sense, on the ‘Northern Hub’ scheme and electrification projects around Manchester – announced many years ago.

And £250m is needed to replace those hated ‘Pacer’ trains, which – very welcome though that is – scarcely seems like a Powerhouse in gestation.

That leaves £1.65bn. But the “paused” TransPennine electrification will swallow up a big chunk – if it ever happens.

Let’s suppose there’s £1.2bn left over, or £400m for each of the North-East, Yorkshire and the North-West, for the rest of the decade.

To put that into context, a proposed faster Newcastle to Leeds route - taking just 50 minutes, instead of 87 minutes – would cost a whopping £8.5-£14bn And consider that £600m is being spent on a tiny extension to a single Tube line in London, more than the total sum heading to the entire North-East for rail.

Let’s give credit to Mr Osborne for a dramatic devolution plans - provided you like ‘metro mayors’ - and for at least putting a Northern Powerhouse on the agenda.

But it is a mirage. Not a single further rail route will be built, because - to coin a phrase - there is simply no money left.