Strictly pushy parents

PUSHY stage mothers have nothing on parents keen for their children to succeed on the dance floor. What Strictly Baby Ballroom made me wonder was who was getting more out of the endless practising and weekly competitions - the young dancers deprived of a normal childhood or parents obsessed with winning?

I didn't warm to Alex and Michelle whose nine-year-old daughter Ellie is Britain's top-ranking junior ballroom dancer. "I don't really get to go out much," she said, after showing us the 300-plus trophies she's won.

When they weren't putting her through gruelling dance rehearsals, her parents were forever reminding her - and us - how much money they spent on her dancing.

Ellie and partner Tommy were aiming to take the only prize they hadn't won, the top title at the British junior championships in Blackpool.

Tabitha and Kelsey, both eight, were the other "ballroom babes" the programme followed in the build-up to the competition. Kelsey didn't have a problem finding a partner because she danced with brother Ryan.

But Tabitha's other half, ten-year-old Sam, dumped her only a few months before the championships. Boy dancers are in short supply, with mum Samantha resorting to putting leaflets in toilets at shows to find a new partner.

Eventually, Mason came along after an appeal on TV's Richard and Judy show. He'd done disco dancing but not ballroom so Samantha paid for him to have lessons.

His stated aim is to have his name in lights so he rebelled when told that his job as Tabitha's partner was "to show her off". He wanted the some of the spotlight for himself.

How pleasing to see him put in his place by the dance teacher telling him: "Mason, today is Wednesday and you won't see Thursday if you show me those heel heads any more".

Grooming appears as important as dancing. Mason has different aftershaves for different occasions (Hugo Boss for ballroom, if you want to know), while the girls had hair, nail and body makeovers that would put a footballer's wife to shame.

The pressure on the youngsters is great, no wonder one of them said: "I love dancing but after a while it does get on your nerves, it takes up your life".

Most children have an innocent curiosity about fire. Some, as Pyromania demonstrated, take it to extremes as adults. Particularly chilling was an interview with Bob, serving three life sentences in a secure mental institution for arson. He's a serial arsonist driven by a pure love of fire. He says a voice in his head tells him to burn everything in his path.

Others are fire lovers - the smell of the smoke and the glow of the fire turns them on. Full-time fire performer Peaches "likes to use fire sexually with his boyfriend", we were told but thankfully not shown. But he was definitely a bit of hot stuff.

The Naked Truth, Billingham Forum

IF aching limbs, bruised knees and bums and hour after hour of perfecting the art of comedy timing as a pole dancer are anything to go by, then the first night of this challenging UK tour is destined for success.

The creator of cult comedy Girls Night Out, Dave Simpson, has provided some verbal dynamite for five women and their tutor who, in the time-honoured tradition, bond as mates and end up staging a charity fund-raiser. Not quite the female Full Monty and probably too coarse too quickly in terms of universal appeal.

Star Lisa Riley, as Bev, plays it strictly for laughs. When told: "Swimming is really good for the figure" she replies: "So why are whales so fat?" Pauline Fleming adds the pathos as Sarah, who reveals she's dying of breast cancer. The rest of the characters are old familiars: Rita (Sarah White) the wife frightened of her husband; Gabby (Paula Frances) talented tutor with disastrous private life; Faith (Alison Young) the nerd and Trisha (Joanne Farrell) the brash beauty who has her husband stolen by Bev. In fact there are so many storylines and 18 scenes to get through that the second half is a friction burn for us all. But there is huge potential here... and I'm not just talking about the assets of Ms Riley.

l Until tomorrow. Box Office: 01642-552663

Viv Hardwick

The Woman In Black: Newcastle Theatre Royal

AS it was the third time I'd seen this, the play with the scary reputation, I reasoned that I might be able to sit through it without shrieking with fright or being startled out of my skin. I would calmly observe my fellow theatregoers and perhaps have a chuckle at their reactions. I failed. Such is the atmosphere conjured by the sets, the lighting, the sound and the two actors who carry the entire performance, that disbelief is suspended. The isolated house in the salt marshes where swirling mists descend suddenly to lure the unwary traveller from the safety of the causeway, the old lady who used to live there whose name causes the locals to fall silent - as a general rule, if you mention your destination in a pub and a sudden hush falls, it's a pretty good indication you should turn round and go home.

Last night's audience shrieked and gasped just like me. "Oh, no!" groaned one lady as our hero went to investigate the strange noise in the dead of night.

Mark Healey as the Actor and Robert Demeger as everyone else (except one!) eased us gently into the plot with a bit of banter... it's just a reading after all, how scary can that be? With virtually no props, we used our imagination to conjure up the train, the pony and trap, the dog... and somehow we scared ourselves silly.

If you sit in the front stalls you'll certainly get swathed in swirling mist, and you may get more of a fright than everyone else!

l Until Saturday.

Box Office 0870-905-5060

Sue Heath