THEY may play to the same rules and refresh themselves with the same halftime orange, but in terms of cash and, if we’re brutally honest, in skills there’s little similarity between a Premiership prima donna and a journeyman in the Northern League.

One plays to a capacity crowd and is rarely out of the tabloids. The other – particularly on a wet Wednesday night – scans the stands to see if there are more bodies on the terraces than on the pitch. The best he gets is a passing mention in this paper, though to be fair he usually attracts better headlines that his multi-millionaire counterpart.

But in a strange way, the game’s grafters and gods were united this week in a couple of stories which are really about one word – respect.

The Premiership’s weekly controversy was the row about what referee Mark Clattenburg did or didn’t say to two Chelsea players.

Nearer to home, we saw why the Northern League is using “secret shoppers” to try to stop players and coaches swearing.

I don’t know if you saw the TV clip. It was a case of pictures speaking louder than words as most of the dialogue from the pitch and dug-outs had to be bleeped out, a telling comment on the scale of the problem that league chairman Mike Amos and his helpers are decently and sensibly trying to tackle.

As Mike pointed out, if you used that sort of language in the street or shop, you would be shunned by right-thinking people and run the risk of arrest.

Yet in the confines of a football stadium, this shameful behaviour is tolerated, even smiled at. It’s just old so-and-so, off on one, everyone says, as the first-time visitor quietly heads for the exit making a mental note to spend next Saturday down the supermarket where normal rules of conduct apply.

Now, football should be exciting and passionate.

The pitch and the stadium are places where we can dream and, for at least 90 minutes, forget the daily grind. But we shouldn’t forget respect for ourselves and respect for others. There are sights and sounds and, at times, a mentality in the stands and on the pitch which are downright ugly. And the higher the stakes and the higher the league, the worse it seems to get.

And so on to Clattenburg and Chelsea. I’m reserving judgement until we know the full facts, but what this case amply illustrates is the souring of the relationship between players and officials.

There was a time ,of course, when any cross-talk was unthinkable. The referee addressed all players formally and was allowed to get on with his job. The relationship was based on mutual respect between professionals.

Now, of course, the second a referee blows for a foul, he’s surrounded by a mob demanding a yellow or red card. In fact, it’s probably part of the training routine: “Right, we’ve done dead balls and crosses, now let’s practice getting someone sent off.”

The swearing and the belligerent confrontational attitude have become second nature.

These are the cracks in behaviour and standards that the real villains, the racists, love because it’s the kind of situation they can exploit and use for their miserable ends.

When angry it’s a good idea to count to ten.

When really angry, swear, Mark Twain advised.

Here’s a better idea. When the heat’s on, just repeat to yourself: “It’s only a game, you know.” You’ll be surprised how quickly the moment passes and the smile that football should always wear returns.