For as long as she could remember, Lucy Richardson stammered. She explains how she finally conquered her affliction… and found a husband in the process.

WHEN I went on a speech therapy course to help control my stammer, I never imagined that I would meet my future husband.

Falling in love was not what I’d hoped to get out of the four days, but the prospect of being released from tongue-tied frustration got my pulse racing.

I have stammered since I was three – so for as long as I can remember – and it affected every decision I made.

Although I loved white wine, I had never managed to ask for a glass of Chardonnay.

I would explain my travel arrangements by handing over my destinations scribbled on a scrap of paper and go way over my overdraft limit rather than call up my bank and read out my account number. Christmas was a nightmare – I would always pretend I had lost the joke in my Christmas cracker and would do everything to avoid playing Trivial Pursuit.

Day after day, the humiliation of simply not being able to ask for what I wanted ate away inside and the frustration and anger of not being able to express myself reduced me to a seething mess. I cannot describe the number of times I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Being asked to read aloud in class and choking on the second word, or someone hanging up the phone when they thought I was a crank caller filled me with despair.

To most people I was “happy Lucy” – always smiling, always laughing – little did they know how depressed I felt.

I had tried speech therapy in my teens, but with little success. Then, one evening, my dad called up about an article he had read about the McGuire Programme, an intensive speech therapy course which hit the headlines when stammering Pop Idol runner-up Gareth Gates extolled its virtues.

As much as I wanted to conquer my demons, the thought of making a public speech on a soap box in a busy city centre filled me with terror. But I was so desperate to make it work that I agreed to be filmed for ITV’s Tonight with Trevor Mac- Donald, as one of three new students being followed around during the four days.

The moment I met my course instructor, Matthew, is captured on celluloid, and although sparks didn’t fly between us until 18 months later, he was an inspiring teacher.

The course was a whirl of very early starts and late night finishes, when we learnt to breathe from the costal diaphragm.

By keeping the voice low in the chest the chances of freezing or “blocking” are greatly reduced. We also learnt new ways to help reduce the fear factor. Although the programme doesn’t offer a cure, many students have become strong speakers.

Six weeks later I went on a refresher course and although it helped, at the end of it I brought home an overwhelming burden of self-doubt. Who was I? Would I have taken a different path through life had I not stammered? Would I have been more successful?

It wasn’t until my third course in Manchester that I felt that elusive “high” and bellowed out my name on the soap box. The boost it gave to my confidence is indescribable.

At last, I felt like a fully functioning human being. I held my head high and walked proud.

I still take great pride in the small pleasures in life, things I would have avoided before. Saying my name, using the telephone, buying stamps at the post office and booking taxis are the mini Everests I climb every day. There is no situation I shy away from now, I even made a speech on my wedding day.

Yet despite knowing that if I am incredibly disciplined and use the full McGuire method I can control my stammer, another part of me still yearns to be a “normal” fluent speaker.

Sometimes I think that if I didn’t hesitate, block and stumble, I would somehow be a better person or that if I never stammered again my life would be complete.

As a reporter, I delve into people’s personal lives, often at a time of crisis, so why am I too embarrassed to talk about my own story?

But then I tell myself that were it not for my stammer I would not have met Matthew and we would not have our gorgeous daughter, Maisy.

Maybe I should stop thinking about what might have been and concentrate on making the best of my life.

■ The next McGuire course is being held in Newcastle from July 29 to August 2, a free open day is being held at the Dolphin Centre in Darlington on Saturday, July 18, from 10am until noon, and on the same day at Jurys Inn Hotel, Scotswood Road, Newcastle, from 2pm to 4pm. For more details, contact Iain Mutch at PO Box 60, Ryton, Tyne and Wear, NE40 3WZ, tel. 0191-413-9100, email iainmutch@hotmail.com or visit mcguireprogramme.com