Mums empowered

THE mums are gathered round a table, cups of tea in many hands, and with assorted plates of biscuits tempting some to break their diets. The sound of children having fun can be distinguished from next door, but no one seems to bat an eyelid - they're no doubt grateful for the break. This could be any average mums' group in the local village hall and, superficially at least, that is exactly what it is. The difference is that all the mums are classed as having learning problems.

Now five years old, the group began as an experiment of sorts. It is the brainchild of two women - Karen Simpson, a health team leader for Middlesbrough Learning Disabilities, and Debbie Smith, a social work team manager - and stemmed from both of their desires to meet the need for such a service. As Karen says, they thought it might not even last beyond six weeks.

"The group was established about September '02 and we started it off as a six-week course for mums who lived in Middlesbrough who had a learning disability, because there was nothing else available," says Karen. "It was an area that Debbie and I had always been interested in and we set it up to see what kind of interest there was. We adapted a positive parenting programme that had been established for people with mental health problems."

Before too long a core of mums began attending every week. They were quite clear about their needs and felt the group should be continued. "I think we started off with about four or five, some of whom had their children with them, some whose children were being looked after," says Karen.

Debbie adds: "We originally thought we would have to do two separate groups for mums who were looking after their own children and mums who, through the courts, had had their children placed in foster care or adoption, but we didn't in the end. From early on they were quite vocal and wanted to have their say."

The group was launched for dads as well, but then no men attended meetings. Though it could not have been foreseen, this ended up being quite a blessing. "We originally set it up as a parents' group, but then no guys came and after the six weeks, all the mums said they preferred it like that because they like to call the men on a weekly basis," jokes Karen. "Issues like domestic violence have been dealt with much better because it's women only," adds Debbie.

There is a session every Thursday between noon and 2pm, and Middlesbrough Mums - as the group is called - now meets at Park End Community Centre, having moved there from North Ormesby. While there's a structure to the time there's also scope for things to change.

"We've had a lady come in and do baby massage, which was lovely, and we've done all the stuff about keeping yourself safe - we've had everything from firemen to oral hygiene," says Debbie. "There's always a structure to it, but that remains quite fluid most weeks. Even with the recreational stuff there's always an educational reason behind it. People are free to come and go - they don't sign up every week - but we try to encourage them to come regularly.

"There's the two of us and three support workers and it depends on what's happening as to what we do, so for example, we've had somebody who's come today and disclosed some problems within the family, so perhaps next week we would set up a session around assertiveness. We just have to be really adaptable."

A clear advantage of the group is that it gives the women time out - they get some respite from their children and the chance to sit and chat. As well as learning from the experts they're supported by each other.

"For some of the mums it's the only time in the week when they have time out from their children, and some of them have made quite good friends," says Karen. "A lot of them have tried Sure Start, but they feel like outsiders - they don't feel understood. They do feel quite isolated sometimes and that's one of the things they've said about being here - it's a very equal group."

While Karen and Debbie are keen to stress they'd never leave a mum to struggle, there are criteria for those they feel equipped to offer help. They've often been through special school, or been identified as vulnerable, and find they need a bit of guidance when it comes to parenthood. Where Middlesbrough Mums excels at this is in its sensitive approach.

"They function reasonably well in the community, but they struggle with things like budget setting, routines, retaining information and time keeping - routines are an area that we do a lot of work on," explains Debbie.

"We feed back things from other agencies," Karen adds. "When we first started, we always thought it would be better for them to have the information from an external agency, but they said they would much prefer it to come through us. I think in the past, perhaps what would have happened if there was head lice, for example, was that it would have been raised as a major concern, but here it isn't. If there's some concern about sitting at the table to eat we'll have a session on that."

The end result is that the mums feel they're empowered and not diminished. They're given confidence to talk about the problems they encounter and know that nobody will judge them or condemn them as inept. The key thing is, this makes a difference to their aptitude as parents.

"I don't think we ever expected to change the world completely, but we wanted mums to have the opportunity of looking after their children," says Debbie. "I think we've made a significant improvement in the number of children who have remained at home. The agencies are starting to recognise what we're doing and we're feeding back to them. They're a very honest group and really quite brave because they will stand up and tell their own story. I think they realise they will help other people by doing it."

Although their work is never easy, both Karen and Debbie love what they do. If all the mums gain from their help then they insist that they gain too. "They're a really, really lovely group," says Debbie. "I think we get a lot of pleasure out of facilitating it."

Middlesbrough Mums, Park End Community Centre, Overdale Road, Middlesbrough, 01642-303900.