PARENTING is hard enough, but it appears many mums are making it even harder on themselves – by succumbing to “work guilt”.

While new figures show 64 per cent of mums are in employment, research suggests more than threequarters (80 per cent) of these feel guilty about going back to work after having a baby, worrying about leaving their child in the care of others.

But, as Mandy Garner, editor of workingmums.co.uk, rightly argues: “Guilt is a bit of a useless emotion if you can’t do anything to change things. Finding the right childcare to fit around your work patterns, negotiating flexible working or finding a new flexible job, and planning ahead for emergencies, like who takes time off when a child’s sick – these are all things which help reduce the guilt.”

Such thorny issues are among those that will be tackled at the Work and Family Show in London this weekend, where working parents will be offered advice and information from employment experts and employers.

Garner says: “Coping with the new dual role of working and being a parent is definitely an emotionally turbulent time.”

The 2013 annual survey of working mums by workingmums.co.uk found the main reason for mums returning to work after having children is money (94 per cent) – although 75 per cent want to work to boost their selfesteem, and enjoy their job.

If you can’t avoid the need to return to work, the only answer is to try to reduce the stresses that go with it – Garner underlines that being happy about childcare, making sure it’s right for you as well as your child, is crucial in this.

Tweaking things a little at work if necessary, such as reducing working hours, or cutting commuting by requesting a couple of days working from home, are also steps which can be of huge benefit.

From the employment perspective, part of the problem with returning to work after having children can be the length of time a woman has been off.

Jennifer Liston-Smith, head of coaching at Myfamilycare, which provides work and family solutions for both employers and employees, says: “If a woman’s taken a long time off work, she may be questioning whether it’ll work for her and asking if she can do it, has she got up-to-date skills?”

She says leading employers see the benefit of being family-friendly and having mothers return to work.

“They know parents are likely to have developed more perspective, responsibility and loyalty. They quite like to employ parents because they tend to be good at prioritising and multi-tasking, and will probably be motivated and loyal if the employer can help them make it work.”

Working and being a parent means, of course, that parents have two roles, and Liston-Smith stresses: “A lot of people feel they’re happier as parents if they’ve got their own identity and are able to use their talents and training at work.”

Women thinking of returning to work need to consider their longterm plan. If they’re not ready to return to paid work, they might consider doing voluntary work to maintain their abilities. They also need to think about the skills they possess, including those gained from being a parent.

Trying a Keeping-in-Touch Day, where a parent on maternity or additional paternity leave is paid to work for the odd day during the leave, can also make the final return to work easier. Parents also have the right to request flexible working, although employers don’t have to agree to it.

Getting the work-life balance right is also vital, says Liston-Smith, and it can really help for mums to share chores with their partner if possible.

“While you’re on maternity leave you’re probably more involved with housework than ever, but when you go back to work that has to be managed as a household. But it’s important to be level-headed about it, and use your best delegation skills with your partner.”

  • For more information about the Work and Family Show, February 21-22, ExCel, London, visit theworkandfamilyshow.co.uk