Who writes Tony Blair's speeches? Perhaps more important, who vets them? Surely not Cherie? No loving wife would have allowed her husband to come up with that toe-curling climax to Mr Blair's farewell speech at Trimdon.
"This country is a blessed nation. The British are special. The world knows it. In our innermost thoughts we know it. This is the greatest nation on earth.''
"Tony, you really can't say that. Does China consider us the greatest nation on earth? Does France, which just about hates our guts? Does America, led by your friend George Bush? Do even the British people believe we are the greatest? Isn't there just a teeny bit of arrogance in that attitude? Doesn't the introduction of a little humility put every nation on an equal footing?''
Aside from that imagined protest by Cherie, we might debate for hours who exactly are the British today. Perhaps few of us now see our nation - either its present condition or a good deal of its gunboat past - in a flattering light.
Meanwhile, if Tony Blair genuinely regards Britain as the world's greatest nation, perhaps he will cease pursuing ever-closer union with Europe. Perhaps he will allow us a vote on the EU's constitution which, following its rejection by referendums in France and the Netherlands, he is still keen to promote, by presenting intended reforms, including a provision for the EU to have its own foreign minister, as simply a tidying-up exercise.
What irony if history records that the Prime Minster who hailed Britain as "the greatest nation on earth'' capped his valedictory pronouncement to that effect by finally sealing Britain's fate as part of a federal state.
From the main man to a minion, albeit a close confidant as well. Darlington MP and former Health Secretary Alan Milburn has gained a nice little earner with his £25,000-a-year role as an advisor on health matters to PepsiCo.
Expected to attend just four meetings a year, though he might volunteer a greater input, Mr Milburn shouldn't find this extra-Parliamentary commitment too demanding. To some eyes the tasks he outlines, notably "improving the nutritional profile of Pepsi products'' look like ones that the giant PepsiCo might well be capable of handling itself. It is good to know that Pepsi and Mr Milburn are confident he can contribute significantly to transforming the sugar-rich Pepsi and fat-and-salt doused Walkers Crisps into healthier products.
No doubt neither Mr Milburn nor Philip Gould, who is bringing his experience advising Tony Blair on political matters to Pepsi's health advisory board, would tolerate just being there as tame big names, to make Pepsi's health drive look good.
Of course it's welcome news that the long-intended scrapping of pounds and ounces has been postponed indefinitely. Never mind that this is much less a victory for public opinion than the result of a late panic by the EU at the cold realisation that an exclusively metric system would harm trade with the US, which uses imperial weights and measures.
Semi-related to that, I would like to know why distances are now often stated in kilometres. The mile is not threatened by the EU, and young people, most of whom are bewildered by pounds and ounces, grow up fully familiar with this ancient measurement.
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