Extinction of the Tiger Mother

RELAX. Remember the Tiger Mother? You know, the one who thought mothers were utterly feeble if they didn’t make their children practise the piano for at least three hours a day?

Her children weren’t allowed sleepovers either, or to watch television, or go to parties, or eat junk food, or get any grade less than an A. Just reading the book was exhausting.

Living the life must have been horrendous.

So three cheers for Bryan Caplan.

He’s an American professor who’s confirmed what I’ve always thought – you get the child you’re given and there’s only so much you can do with it.

What a relief. Now we can all relax.

In fact, given a basic level of decency and adequate parenting – we’re not talking neglect or irresponsibility here – everything else seems pretty much a waste of time.

Your children will turn out the way your children will turn out.

Studies of twins separated at birth have proved it. They can be brought up totally differently and still end up exactly the same.

Likewise, children can be brought up identically and end up totally different.

Any parent of more than one child could have told you that. Children born and brought up in the same family, fed the same food, bound by the same rules, taken on the same holidays and reading the same books, can and often do turn out totally differently from each other. Scarily so, sometimes.

Children arrive in this world with their characters pretty well formed.

All a parent can do is feed them, clothe them, teach them some manners and make them acceptable in polite society.

In fact, says Professor Caplan, the very best thing of all we can give our children is lots of love and memories of a happy childhood.

So that’s the three-hour piano practice out of the window, then.

And the extra maths. And probably the fish oil capsules too.

Instead we should substitute a lot of family fun with a healthy dose of benign neglect. Sounds good to me.

It’s probably not quite as simple as that, but I really want it to be. It certainly sounds more fun and a lot less exhausting than Tiger Mothering.

Slut-walks

RELAX. Remember the Tiger Mother? You know, the one who thought mothers were utterly feeble if they didn’t make their children practise the piano for at least three hours a day?

Her children weren’t allowed sleepovers either, or to watch television, or go to parties, or eat junk food, or get any grade less than an A. Just reading the book was exhausting.

Living the life must have been horrendous.

So three cheers for Bryan Caplan.

He’s an American professor who’s confirmed what I’ve always thought – you get the child you’re given and there’s only so much you can do with it.

What a relief. Now we can all relax.

In fact, given a basic level of decency and adequate parenting – we’re not talking neglect or irresponsibility here – everything else seems pretty much a waste of time.

Your children will turn out the way your children will turn out.

Studies of twins separated at birth have proved it. They can be brought up totally differently and still end up exactly the same.

Likewise, children can be brought up identically and end up totally different.

Any parent of more than one child could have told you that. Children born and brought up in the same family, fed the same food, bound by the same rules, taken on the same holidays and reading the same books, can and often do turn out totally differently from each other. Scarily so, sometimes.

Children arrive in this world with their characters pretty well formed.

All a parent can do is feed them, clothe them, teach them some manners and make them acceptable in polite society.

In fact, says Professor Caplan, the very best thing of all we can give our children is lots of love and memories of a happy childhood.

So that’s the three-hour piano practice out of the window, then.

And the extra maths. And probably the fish oil capsules too.

Instead we should substitute a lot of family fun with a healthy dose of benign neglect. Sounds good to me.

It’s probably not quite as simple as that, but I really want it to be. It certainly sounds more fun and a lot less exhausting than Tiger Mothering.

Sprouts are still out

GO mad – eat an aubergine.

We like to think that we’ve got cosmopolitan taste in food now. After all, the days of endless meals of meat and two veg have long gone. Chicken tikka, lasagne, salami and sushi make our everyday menus much more interesting. We’re so much more adventurous than our parents.

But no. In a survey by a maker of goat’s cheese – who might have a vested interest – more than two thirds of adults said they’d refuse to try liver or sprouts – even for free. Nearly half have never eaten goat’s cheese. A third have never tried mussels or sea bass and one in five has never tried an olive or asparagus.

Which is pretty feeble, really. And they don’t know what they’re missing.

We’re now right in the English asparagus season.

Nothing could be simpler or more delicious.

Go mad and try it. Who knows, you might even like it. But if you won’t even try, you’ll never know.

A mother's pain

GO mad – eat an aubergine. We like to think that we’ve got cosmopolitan taste in food now.

After all, the days of endless meals of meat and two veg have long gone. Chicken tikka, lasagne, salami and sushi make our everyday menus much more interesting. We’re so much more adventurous than our parents.

But no. In a survey by a maker of goat’s cheese – who might have a vested interest – more than two thirds of adults said they’d refuse to try liver or sprouts – even for free. Nearly half have never eaten goat’s cheese. A third have never tried mussels or sea bass and one in five has never tried an olive or asparagus.

Which is pretty feeble, really. And they don’t know what they’re missing.

We’re now right in the English asparagus season.

Nothing could be simpler or more delicious.

Go mad and try it. Who knows, you might even like it. But if you won’t even try, you’ll never know.

A long way from Petula

LADY Gaga certainly knows how to put on a show. She arrived in rainy Carlisle for the Radio 1 Big Weekend with five tour buses, two Winnebagos – allegedly just for the make-up – and an entourage of 80. Then she burst on stage out of a gold coffin and wearing a pretend pregnancy bump.

“Good grief,” said an older friend as we watched it on TV at the health club, “It’s a long way from the days of Petula Clark.”

Backchat

GO mad – eat an aubergine.

We like to think that we’ve got cosmopolitan taste in food now. After all, the days of endless meals of meat and two veg have long gone. Chicken tikka, lasagne, salami and sushi make our everyday menus much more interesting. We’re so much more adventurous than our parents.

But no. In a survey by a maker of goat’s cheese – who might have a vested interest – more than two thirds of adults said they’d refuse to try liver or sprouts – even for free. Nearly half have never eaten goat’s cheese. A third have never tried mussels or sea bass and one in five has never tried an olive or asparagus.

Which is pretty feeble, really. And they don’t know what they’re missing.

We’re now right in the English asparagus season.

Nothing could be simpler or more delicious.

Go mad and try it. Who knows, you might even like it. But if you won’t even try, you’ll never know.