MANY congratulations to the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, married for 70 years this week and still looking as though they quite like each other. Even though they spend half the week apart.

(Mmmm.. some food for thought there. Amazing how many happily married couples live in separate houses or even countries. Cause and effect maybe?) Anyway, in a bid to keep the romance alive, the Duke apparently buys Her Maj a bunch of flowers every week. Lovely!

But this is the Queen. Wherever you see her out and about people are thrusting flowers into her arms, tiny children bombard her with posies at knee level, nervous adults do well rehearsed curtsies with their offerings. Newly-painted buildings are filled with floral arrangements to hide the smell of new paint.

Her life is surrounded by flowers. The last thing she needs is any more. Especially as she’s also gardens and borders by the acreage all over the country.

The Queen always smiles serenely and hands all the gifted bouquets back to her ladies in waiting. She has so many flowers that you’d think she’d run out of vases. Then just when she’s got rid of them all – arranged them nicely, given some to her ladies, or a passing maid, or stuck them in a spare bedroom or one of the downstairs loos - along trots the Duke with yet another bunch.

Nice thought, but… Do you think she ever wishes he’d get her something else – a box of chocs, a bag of Haribos, a racy novel, perfume or some bath oil?

Flowers every week for 70 years is a wonderful thought. But after 3,640 bunches, it might be just a little lacking in the element of surprise.

ALL I wanted was a leather tote bag that fastened properly. Fat chance.

Nearly all those I found either (a) didn’t fasten at all (b) had only a popper thing in the middle or (c) had a zip that stopped two inches from each end. Cunningly designed so that when I flung it an overhead rack or locker or the back of the car, things would slide straight out. What is the point? Who designs these things?

Not fit for purpose AND they were all ridiculously expensive, many over £400. Ha! Maybe when you’re rich you can afford to lose stuff all the time.

But then I found an even nicer version in TK Maxx. It was cheap and cheerful but best of all the makers could actually afford a zip that fitted.

A bag that actually works as a bag. What a breakthrough.

IT’S one of the minor battlegrounds of our marriage. I like to sleep with the bedroom window open. He likes it shut. I think I compromised once – when there was a small snowdrift INSIDE the bedroom but otherwise I quite like an icy blast swirling around as I snuggle cosily under the bedclothes.

My idea of hell is those hotel rooms with windows you can’t open and air con that doesn’t work. Argghhhh.

Now at last I’ve been vindicated. esearch from the Netherlands prove that people sleep better with cooler temperatures, the window open and that concentration is improved the next day.

So there.

BRITISH Airways are going to make passengers board in order of the amount they paid for their air fare. Cheapest last.

Suits me.

Being a cheapskate I’ll be able to struggle on last of all and look very smug, knowing that everyone else will have paid more than I did, possibly a lot more.

You’re in the same plane, in the same seats, going to the same place – and still having to divvy up for a Marks and Sparks sandwich on board. Paying the lowest fare is definitely a badge of honour. Be proud to be last!

SO she’s finished her sting in the TV series Suits, put her possessions in storage and is moving with her dogs from Canada. Meghan Markle is apparently moving to London and into Prince Harry’s apartment.

Giving up your job, your home, your life and moving across on ocean is a huge deal when you’re an anonymous body. To do it all in the international glare must be really tricky.

Let’s hope it works out for them both. To give up and sneak home again would be even trickier without even the comfort of privacy. Good luck, girl.