CAKE is good. More cake is not necessarily better.
But cakes, like everything else, are getting bigger, gooier, sweeter. Out with husband and grand-daughter last week I bought a single salted caramel chocolate brownie for us to share. It was enormous, rich and sweet, and big enough for three – and we’re a greedy family. I cut it up and shared it between us in a very granny-ish way. My mother would have been proud.
Everything’s getting bigger. Biscuits, burgers, pies, bags of sweets, breakfasts.
A cooked breakfast used to be bacon and eggs. Now there are sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms, black pudding fried bread, hash browns, baked beans… the Full English has become the norm.
One doughnut used to be a treat. Now at Scotch Corner I see families of four trotting back to their cars with a box of a dozen. Mega-muffins have replaced tiny fairy cakes and your average cookie is probably about ten times the size of a rich tea – but you can still kid yourself you’re still having just one biscuit.
Coffees are served in cups the size of buckets. Wine glasses grow bigger every year. Pubs challenge you to all you can eat and if your battered fish isn’t hanging over the edge of the plate, then you probably feel short-changed.
I eat pretty healthily but, like a lot of people, I eat far bigger portions than my grandparents ever did. In Texas years ago I was shocked at the size of restaurant meals – and at the size of the people eating them. But we’re heading that way too. And because everyone does it, we’ve got used to it and have lost sight of what used to be “average” portions.
Restaurant puddings tend to be enormous too – though I’ve solved that problem by not ordering anything myself but just taking a spoonful or two from whatever husband’s ordered. Perfect.
Moderation in all things, after all.
FORMER World number one tennis player Victoria Azarenka has said that tennis tournaments should do more to accommodate players who are mothers and have to fit their job around children.
Victoria, who gave birth to baby Leo in December, got through her Wimbledon first round in an hour and forty-five minutes and on Wednesday through to the third round in straight sets.
So she’s already guaranteed £90,000 for a few days’ work. For that sort of money, I think most new mothers would be happy to put up with a little inconvenience.
WHAT a wonderful time of year to be friendly with a good teacher. Once upon a time, teachers were lucky to get an apple, then the greetings card industry realised there was a money-making opportunity and now cards and presents for teachers are a must, with every supermarket getting in on the act.
The persuasiveness/blackmail means a popular teacher will stagger home with enough boxes of chocs and bottles of wine to see them through a minor famine and are usually eager to share.
If you thought that was generous, you should see what staff at some of the swish London schools get – spa days, holidays, vintage wine and vouchers for the sort of restaurants where a meal costs a week’s wages. Serious stuff.
All very nice and, of course, chocs and wine never go amiss. But still, most teachers I know say that what they really appreciate is just a letter or a home made card – and those are the things they keep for years.
ED SHEERAN has quit Twitter because in among his 19 million followers are a few twisted trolls who delight in making vile comments. Of course he should ignore them, but even mega stars a human and easily hurt. “One comment can ruin my day,” he said.
Meanwhile, new research has shown that those people who love to post vicious anonymous comments online are more likely to be psychopaths and sadists. Well, I think we could have worked that one out for ourselves.
THERE are decent ways to split up. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin caused much hilarity by their “conscious uncoupling” but it proved to be a way of a very civilised divorce.
Likewise Rebecca Adlington.
The former Olympic swimmer and her husband Harry Needs split up barely two years after their wedding and when their baby Summer was only a few months old. But they’ve managed to remain good friends.
So much so that Rebeccca posted a picture of her ex with their daughter on his birthday, wishing him a Happy Birthday and telling the world “Thank you for being a great dad.” One day Summer will thank them both for that.
WE hear a lot about jobsworths, making the most of every petty rule to make the rest of us suffer. So this week let’s mention two lovely people – the nice man in West End Garage, in Wolsingham, who cheerfully – and free – sorted out my flat tyre when the alarm was flashing menacingly and I had visions of being stranded in the wilds of Weardale.
And a helpful chap at Darlington railway station. Younger Son had come up from London and was changing trains to go to Middlesbrough, then Castleton. I was the other side of the barrier. He wanted to give me his backpack, book and posh shoes. I wanted to give him hat, waterproof and sausage sandwich. A tricky exchange over the top of the gates.
Seeing the complications, an understanding member of staff opened the gate and let me through. Much easier and much appreciated.
There are plenty of lovely, sensible, helpful people around. But doesn’t it make a difference when you come across them? Thank you to both.
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