Failure is good - I should know

I don’t suppose that’s much consolation for Theresa May… but failure is so good that now there’s even a museum about it.

I know about failure. It took me eight goes to pass my driving test. When I finally passed, the examiner thought I was really a mystery inspector sent to assess how he conducted driving tests. It was small consolation.

No wonder a card stuck to my desktop says “I learned so much from my mistakes, I think I’ll make some more.” On bad days, I find it very cheering.

Samuel West would agree. His brainchild is the new Museum of Failure which opened this month in Sweden.

Brilliant idea – it displays lots of other brilliant ideas that didn’t quite work. There’s a plastic bike that doesn’t rust – but wobbles alarmingly; Betamax tape machines, double drumsticks, Google glasses, Coke’s coffee flavoured drink, McDonalds’s luxury burger, Harley Davison eau de toilette and a Donald Trump board game. Failures all.

Some of the best business brains in the world with unlimited money and research at their disposal got some things completely and horribly wrong. Very consoling for the rest of us.

No surprise to learn that Samuel West is a clinical psychologist and trying to make us more accepting of our own mistakes.

Fear of failure is a terrible thing.

Modern education is producing a generation of very bright, very pressured perfectionists who have no experience of dealing with failure. So when it hits them later in life it hits them very hard indeed. They haven’t had the practice.

No wonder increasing numbers of high-achieving schools have sessions of almost celebrating failure, Recounting stuff that people just couldn’t do or got horribly wrong puts things in perspective. Sometimes you learn how to do things differently next time round. Other times you accept the fact that you can’t be brilliant at everything, or even anything, which is a wonderfully liberating thought. Having a go is what matters.

A baby can’t learn to walk without falling over. It’s a rare person who gets everything right first time.

Einstein said “A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.”

So there you are – give it a go.

Meanwhile, I’m off to make a few more mistakes. Could be fun.

BOYS love shoes too. In the 16-24 age-group, they buy more shoes than girls do. True, it’s more likely to be yet another pair of trainers, but still, shoes are shoes.

It’s not going to do much for shared wardrobe space though.

GWYNETH Paltrow hosted a conference on health and well being. It included such delights as talks on cosmic flow and spiritual wifi, why we shouldn’t eat tomatoes or potatoes and why we should use frog venom to treat burns and cancer.

What’s more it cost £1,200 to attend.

£1,200 for a load of mumbo jumbo? That’s enough to ruin my health and well-being before it started, even without the frog venom.

SEVEN months after her husband’s inauguration as President of the United States, Melania Trump has finally moved from New York into the White House. Well, if you were married to him, would you rush?

Her explanation was that she had to wait until son Barron, 11, finished his school year.

Apparently, she’s not afraid to tell the Donald what she thinks – or refuse to hold his hand – and he values her opinion, so he’s clearly missed her sensible presence around the place. Certainly someone needs to keep an eye on him.

Once she’s in residence, Melania is said to be planning a First Lady campaign to prevent cyber bullying and the torrent of lies and insults that flood social media.

In view of the appalling criticism President Trump levelled at London mayor Sadiq Khan after the London Bridge attacks, perhaps she could begin with her husband.

Confiscating his phone might be a start.

IN a recent survey of things people thought were better in the 1950s – the usual suspects: children playing out, no internet, bobbies on the beat, matrons in charge – or in 2017: internet, improved medicines, better plumbing – nobody mentioned dads.

Dads in the 1950s were mostly great, of course in a 1950s way. They went out and worked all hours, usually as the single wage earners to keep the family provided for. They came home to tea on the table then often went to the pub and most didn’t involve themselves much in childcare or shopping or any domestic duties. Many of them, however loving and loved, were slightly distant figures.

Then came a revolution. The grandsons of those 1950s fathers are now hands on dads – everything from nappy changing to shopping, cooking and doing the washing. Pipe and slippers? Fat chance. Today’s young dads are terrific.

A dad’s life is probably more chaotic than it was in the 1950s but most do a great job that their grandads could never have imagined.

So on Sunday at least, give Dad a break. He deserves it.

An open day at the mosque in Thornaby that was recently vandalised. Mosque caretaker Parwez serves teas and coffees. Picture: Chris Booth

WHEN in doubt, have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

That’s what the Thornaby Muslim Association thought when vandals scrawled on the walls of their mosque.

Instead of keeping themselves to themselves and engendering suspicion and possible hatred, members of the mosque threw open their doors and invited their neighbours to find out more about them and their religion.

Hundreds turned up. There was lots of tea and biscuits – and cake. And presumably a great deal more understanding and goodwill. Brilliant.

And very British.

JUST get those batteries for the smoke alarm. Please.