Josie Armstrong, 56, is a wedding celebrant. She lives with her husband Dave in Brancepeth, just outside Durham, in a converted barn with beautiful views. She keeps chickens and loves to entertain, though home is little quieter now her own two boys have flown the coop. A former Registrar, Josie has officiated at hundreds of weddings over the years, but few as close to her heart as one recent ceremony...
My eldest son Chris, 30, a Major in the Royal Marines, married recently and I had a big hand in organising his wedding, helping to transform nearby Brancepeth Castle into a beautiful candlelit reception and ball. Fire torches and lanterns led the procession to the castle behind the Military Guard of Honour, led by a piper. It was quite something and drew on a lot of the memorable weddings I'd witnesses over the years. We had a fabulous caterer and supplied our own drinks which involved a trip to the Champagne region in France with the bride's parents, a fun thing to do. We sampled lots - and liked them all.
I have always been a bit of an organiser and like nothing better than to transform our village hall into a place for fun, drinking and dancing. Indeed, it was the first port of call for our wedding guests who met for mulled wine and coffee, and a chance to chat to one another beforehand. I think it's important to look after guests before, during and after the wedding - I know how much it's appreciated.
It's this 'thinking ahead' concept which applies very much to the weddings I'm involved in. Standing up and conducting ceremonies is only the visible part of what I do. I also devote a lot of time to meeting my couples several times before their big day, so I can deliver a ceremony which is highly personal to them. I also ensure any potential issues are resolved in advance - it could be parents who are no longer together and arranging seating to suit, for example, or deciding where the photographer can stand unobtrusively. I can also offer suggestions of readings and vows.
I started working for Durham County Council as a Registrar in 2001, meeting people from all walks of life to register births, deaths and marriages. It was a demanding role which saw me conducting up to seven weddings on a Saturday morning - one every half hour - with different wedding parties going in and out through the same front door in Old Elvet, and having wedding photographs taken in the lovely long walled garden. It was a great exercise in crowd control and I loved every minute of it. There was one occasion when someone's grandmother got left behind in the garden and ended up attending the next wedding. I am sure she must be on someone else's photographs.
Hotel premises had only recently been licensed for wedding ceremonies so Saturday afternoons were taken up with rushing round four weddings in an afternoon, doing my utmost to provide a good ceremony despite never having met the couple. It all seemed to be a bit rushed, so after 12 years it occurred to me that there must be another way of doing this, giving couples the time and assistance to plan their ceremony and a lot more freedom in terms of content - whether it be a religious reading or piece of music (which is not allowed in Civil Ceremonies) or acknowledgement of any other tradition. It's their big day, after all, and I wanted to help them do it their way.
I do consider myself a Christian, but I am also respectful of other religious and non-religious traditions. I really believe in the union of marriage: there is strong evidence to show that families flourish in a stable marital relationship. I wonder how many people realise that there is no such thing as Common Law Marriage and what the consequences are for themselves and children of a relationship if they are not legally married and they die.
The hotel venues I choose to work at which are licensed are very successful at providing lots of choice for their clients and I like to complement what they provide with very personal wedding ceremonies which sometimes involve children of the couple - and even pets. A recent ceremony in Hexham Mart saw the bride posing for photographs with her horse, who was very much a part of her life - so why not?!
Being a Celebrant, the legal part remains with the Registrar to complete. The couple wishing to be married complete all the legalities in advance at the Register Office. The practice of doing the legal signing first is very common in France, Italy and the US, not to celebrities whose weddings feature regularly in magazines. It's becoming increasingly popular to do it this way and leaves the bride and groom free to have a celebration ceremony at a time and place of their choosing - and not necessarily a licensed hotel venue. One wedding which was beautiful, simple and very bohemian took place in Weardale at a tiny place called the Hush, in woodland next to a lake. The bridesmaids looked like fairies with daisy chains in their hair, and the bride walked into the wooded area to music played on a fiddle. It was full of charm and reminiscent of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. If anyone is stuck for inspiration I can always come up with ideas.
Mostly the ceremonies I conduct are fairly traditional with the 'I dos' and exchange of wedding rings, together with an emphasis on whatever they hold most dear, such as a football team or a passion for theatre. One memorable surprise wedding took place following a child's naming ceremony. The couple had secretly legally married in the week leading up to this and following the naming ceremony, they exchanged their wedding rings and vows. There wasn't a dry eye!
Things don't always go according to plan, but I do my best to avert embarrassing situations. The only thing I would draw the line at would be conducting a ceremony skydiving out of an aeroplane.
So after three years of Castle and Country Weddings, I'm still a romantic. Dave and I married in a church near Houghton le Spring 33 years ago, and I still vividly remember him turning around and watching me walk up the aisle towards him with a smile on his face.
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