What many dads really need this Father’s Day is less stress and depression. But first they need to talk about their problems, says the Men’s Health Forum. Lisa Salmon reports

DISCUSSING your mental health, especially if you are struggling with low moods and depression, is never easy. But on the whole, women are far better at talking to one another about their mental wellbeing than men.

The same is true of the media – every day, newspapers and magazines touch on women’s mental wellbeing, whether it’s anxiety, or coping with life’s ups and downs. But these issues are rarely discussed in relation to men.

This is the focus of this year’s Men’s Health Week, which runs from June 10 to 16 in the week leading up to Father’s Day. Organisers want to urge men to open up more and seek help, with the campaign tag line: ‘‘You only live once, so talk to someone.’’ One in six people – both men and women – will experience a mental health problem at some stage in their life, and research by the mental health charity Mind has found that 37 per cent of men are feeling worried or low. Yet their wives, partners, other relatives and friends may have no idea there’s a problem, because so many men keep problems to themselves.

Not talking about it or seeking help though isn’t doing them any favours – in fact, it usually makes their problems far worse, as three in four suicides are by men, and 73 per cent of people who go missing are men.

‘‘I think men are generally less prompt and less willing to seek help about their mental health than women,’’ says Dr John Chisholm, chairman of the Men’s Health Forum, which organises Men’s Health Week. ‘‘It’s not that mental health issues are more common in men, it’s what men do about them that’s the problem.’’ ONLY 23 per cent of men would see their GP if they felt low for more than two weeks, compared to 33 per cent of women, according to Mind research. ‘‘Culturally, men are reluctant to admit and talk about personal problems because they see it as embarrassing and a sign of weakness and vulnerability,’’ says Chisholm.

Men’s Health Week is always held in the week before Father’s Day, and Chisholm points out that some fathers struggle with the responsibilities of being a dad, but don’t talk about it as much as new mothers. ‘‘Parenthood is a huge change in your life, and you need to be less self-absorbed, and I think that comes as quite a shock to many parents, particularly men,” he says. “Perhaps we could do more to prepare men for parenthood than we do at the moment.’’ Chisholm says that because most childcare is still done by women, healthcare professionals are more likely to pick up a mother’s depression and anxiety, rather than the father’s. ‘‘There’s a general problem with men accessing health care – they often present later than women, and often have poorer outcomes,’’ he says.

‘‘The situation isn’t going to change overnight, but we want people to realise that talking, and going to see their GP, is a positive step. And if they see their doctor they won’t just be offered drugs, as there are services such as cognitive behavioural therapy which people may not be aware of.’’ Mind has found that men are half as likely as women to go to a counsellor or therapist to talk about their feelings. And, almost twice as many men as women drink alcohol to cope with feeling down (16 per cent compared to eight per cent of women).

Bridget O’Connell of Mind explains that it’s when poor mental health interferes with day-today life that a medical diagnosis may be sought.

Studies suggest up to four per cent of fathers experience depression during the first year after the birth of a child. The poor economic situation has taken its toll on men’s mental health, and Mind points out that one in seven men develop depression within six months of losing their job. The charity has developed a project to support unemployed men, helping them learn ways of managing their moods and building coping skills.

O’Connell stresses that it’s important to distinguish temporarily feeling sad or miserable with true depression or anxiety. ‘‘Everyone occasionally feels low but, if the feelings are interfering with daily living and don’t go away after a couple of weeks, or if they come back over and over again, for a few days at a time, it could be a sign you have depression,’’ she explains.

Symptoms of depression include feeling lowspirited, restless, agitated, helpless, irritable, unable to relate to other people, and gaining no pleasure from things usually enjoyed. ‘‘Early intervention is crucial in preventing deterioration and a mental health crisis which can lead to feeling suicidal,’’ says O’Connell.

She suggests that healthcare services should be more male-friendly, offering treatments that might appeal more to men, like exercise or computer therapy, in gender-neutral settings with support advertised in places men are likely to visit such as sports venues and pubs.

‘‘Men have told us they feel health services are more geared towards women, which can put them off seeking help,’’ she says. ‘‘But suffering in silence only makes things worse and has the potential to be fatal.’’

  • For more information about Men’s Health Week visit malehealth.co.uk
  • For general information about mental health visit mind.org.uk