HOW we miss the appearance of genial, talkative David Jenkins. The former Bishop of Durham could be relied upon to turn up every Christmas to deny the virgin birth and every Easter to debunk Jesus’ bodily Resurrection.

No, I’m not being sarcastic: Bishop David’s denials – always given a fair show in the press – provided me with a good opportunity to preach on the historical reliability of these wonderful events recorded in the Gospels. But now David has gone to his deserved retirement, wherever shall I look for inspiration for my Easter sermon?

As it turns out, help has appeared in the nick of time.

A newspaper report says “...the 2,000-yearold nails which were used to crucify Jesus have been found in the tomb of Caiaphas, the high priest”.

Caiaphas presided at one of the show trials which condemned Jesus to death. If true, this discovery would be sensational. Simcha Jacobovici, who has made a documentary film about the nails, says: “What we are bringing to the world is the best archaeological argument ever made that two nails from the crucifixion of Christ have been found.”

Well, that’s as maybe. First, there is doubt about whether the discovered first century tomb really was that of Caiaphas the high priest. The Israel Antiquities Authority declared: “It has never been proven beyond doubt that the tomb is the burial place of Caiaphas.”

Undeterred, Jacobovici replies: “If you look at the whole story, historical, textual, archaeological, they all seem to point to these two nails being involved in a crucifixion. And since Caiaphas is only associated with Jesus’ crucifixion, you put two and two together.”

Hang on a minute – we don’t know that Caiaphas was associated with only one crucifixion.

We do know from ancient documents that he had a hand in the conviction of Jesus of Nazareth, but he may have presided at other trials which prescribed death by crucifixion.

Moreover, the two nails were discovered in the (disputed) tomb of Caiaphas in 1990 “during construction work”. Then, the report says: “They disappeared, but Jacobovitch claims to have tracked them down to a lab in Tel Aviv.”

How very fortunate, and how convenient for him.

Added to the considerable doubt that the discovered tomb was that of Caiaphas, we must wonder how anyone could possibly verify that the two nails which turned up in a lab in Tel Aviv 20 years later are the same ones.

Just to thicken the plot, why should Caiaphas have asked for Christ’s nails to be placed in his coffin – even supposing someone had had the foresight to hold the nails in safe-keeping during the years between Christ’s crucifixion and Caiaphas’ death? Jacobovici says that Caiaphas “...wanted the nails buried alongside his body for their talismanic powers and as divine protection in the afterlife”.

I was prepared to go along with his tale, but it was at this point that I reached for the smelling salts. Caiaphas was high priest, a profoundly religious and entirely orthodox Jew. What on earth – or in his case under the earth – would he be wanting with “talismanic powers”? That sort of thing belongs in the world of voodoo, not in traditional Judaism.

Still, now Bishop David has retired, we should be grateful that someone has come to entertain us with religious preposterousness at Easter!