Some of our temperamental sports stars could learn a thing or two from the Chinese.

GOODNESS knows what the Chinese would have made of John McEnroe, or Eric Cantona, or even that nice Tim Henman who's been known to have the occasional paddy and whack the ball right at a ballgirl.

But, gosh, I wish we could follow their example.

The Olympic table tennis champion Chen Qi had a bit of sulk when he lost a match recently. He threw the ball to the ground, kicked a chair. Pretty routine stuff for bad losers really.

But not in China. There, the authorities made him give a public apology on national TV, fined him and - best of all - sent him to the countryside for a week's "re-education" to see the error of his ways. He will apparently have to spend a week with the peasants in some far-flung province, digging, weeding and picking cucumbers. That'll sort him out.

And as we embark on yet another glorious summer of sport, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could do the same?

One of Chen's team-mates was banned from the team for a year after he returned late from a night out drinking. If they tried that in this country, there'd only be a handful of professional footballers left. And profits in big city nightclubs would plummet.

When children are about to be taught the idea of "Britishness" it's salutary to remember that we were once famed for our sportsmanship, our composure under pressure, our grace in victory, our dignity in defeat. Not any more.

You just know a summer of sport will also mean a summer of bad temper, lots of sulks, flung rackets, foul language, rude gestures and temper tantrums.

Many of our greatest sportsmen behave like little prima donnas, thinking they can get away with anything just because they are hugely paid.

And the sad things is, they're right. They can. We are so in awe of them, that they don't seem to have to abide by the normal decencies of behaviour any more.

But if next time young Andy Murray gets bolshie or Wayne Rooney spits obscenities at the referee, maybe we could treat them the Chinese way.

They needn't bother with the public apology. But a week digging ditches, picking spuds or sprouts or shovelling muck, preferably in a nice icy downpour, could be just the thing to concentrate their minds and to encourage them to remember their manners next time.

Clever people, the Chinese.

THE Government move to encourage more women to have their babies at home is all well and good. Well, it would be, if they were sure of having enough midwives to support mothers.

My concern is more basic. Bad enough having only 24 hours in hospital, but at least while you're there you've got someone else to clean up the mess. Give birth at home and, knowing my luck, I'd probably end up washing the sheets.

Many mothers say that the last day off they had was in the maternity ward. Make the most of it.

Strictly for the birds

AND we are all bird-brained this week... Many thanks for your letters on the subject of birds.

Quite a few of you have had house martins in the house in recent weeks. Obviously confused by the open doors and windows in the warm weather, says Lynne Saunders. Leave them alone in peace and theyll eventually find their way out, says Pat Oddy.We should think ourselves lucky.

Rachel Robertson from Crook remembers a few years ago in the middle of the night hearing a terrible noise coming from downstairs. My intrepid husband and son went to investigate and found an owl which had fallen down the chimney. They opened a window wide and left it to it.

It was some time before the panicking creature got out, by which time our sitting room was in a dreadful mess.

Among the destruction, it had knocked over a vase of flowers on the sideboard and the water had got into the drawer where we kept all the household accounts. That took some explaining!And as for birds being a harbinger of death and bad luck, maybe Judy Hale has the answer:

My mother and grandmother always reckoned there would be a death in the family if a robin came into the house.

I can only think this superstition arose because we are more familiar with robins in the winter, and winter time was always a great killer for the old and frail. We were never allowed to bring snowdrops into the house for the same reason.Meanwhile, the birds rule the roost in Sheila Swainstons house.

We have a lovely new garage. Unfortunately many months have been spent in discussion with planning officers over the type of doors we may put on. This has meant that the garage has been used as a dumping ground for numerous items of little value as we cannot lock it.

Finally, we are ordering the doors, looking forward to clearing out the rubbish and actually using it but now the swallows have decided it is a perfect des res, with easy access and have built a nest.

Of course, we will let them bring up their brood in peace and quiet. Another few months of no storage. So who is the bird-brain?

Price is right for these T-shirts

A QUICK dash into M&S for some cheap and cheerful T-shirts some for a fiver, others at £3 each. Two were made in Turkey, the others in Hong Kong.

By next summer, theyll probably be dusters, but at that price, so what?

Nearly 40 years ago, when I had my first proper holiday job, I spent my entire first weeks wages £5 on two items. One was a bright pink mini-skirt that cost just over £3 and the other a purple T-shirt for just under £2 .In comparison to wages, the price of clothes has plummeted since then.

But of course, in those days, Marks & Spencers proud boast was that 99 per cent of their clothes were made in Britain.

Be fair to Margaret

SPARE a thought for Margaret Beckett. Our new Foreign Secretary loyally buys her clothes from a shop in her Derbyshire constituency and has always looked quite respectably and appropriately dressed, in what many of us can identify with as a harassed, working woman sort of way.

Then, days into the new job, she had a photo call with Condolleezza Rice. Condie, remember, gets up at four in the morning wherever she is in the world to do a 40-minute workout.

She looked smart and slinky in black. Mrs Beckett, meanwhile, wore a pumpkin-coloured trouser suit that did, unfortunately, have sort of overtones of the prisoners overalls at Guantanamo Bay.

And she was absolutely slated for it... including some very catty remarks about the Derbyshire shop by the snooty London fashionistas.

Even in these so-called egalitarian days, there are some things that are much easier for a man. And a boring grey suit is one.

Published: 17/05/2006