GOODNESS knows what the Chinese would have made of John McEnroe, or Eric Cantona, or even that nice Tim Henman who's been known to have the occasional paddy and whack the ball right at a ballgirl.

But, gosh, I wish we could follow their example.

The Olympic table tennis champion Chen Qi had a bit of sulk when he lost a match recently. He threw the ball to the ground, kicked a chair. Pretty routine stuff for bad losers really.

But not in China. There, the authorities made him give a public apology on national TV, fined him and - best of all - sent him to the countryside for a week's "re-education" to see the error of his ways. He will apparently have to spend a week with the peasants in some far-flung province, digging, weeding and picking cucumbers. That'll sort him out.

And as we embark on yet another glorious summer of sport, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could do the same?

One of Chen's team-mates was banned from the team for a year after he returned late from a night out drinking. If they tried that in this country, there'd only be a handful of professional footballers left. And profits in big city nightclubs would plummet.

When children are about to be taught the idea of "Britishness" it's salutary to remember that we were once famed for our sportsmanship, our composure under pressure, our grace in victory, our dignity in defeat. Not any more.

You just know a summer of sport will also mean a summer of bad temper, lots of sulks, flung rackets, foul language, rude gestures and temper tantrums.

Many of our greatest sportsmen behave like little prima donnas, thinking they can get away with anything just because they are hugely paid.

And the sad things is, they're right. They can. We are so in awe of them, that they don't seem to have to abide by the normal decencies of behaviour any more.

But if next time young Andy Murray gets bolshie or Wayne Rooney spits obscenities at the referee, maybe we could treat them the Chinese way.

They needn't bother with the public apology. But a week digging ditches, picking spuds or sprouts or shovelling muck, preferably in a nice icy downpour, could be just the thing to concentrate their minds and to encourage them to remember their manners next time.

Clever people, the Chinese.

THE Government move to encourage more women to have their babies at home is all well and good. Well, it would be, if they were sure of having enough midwives to support mothers.

My concern is more basic. Bad enough having only 24 hours in hospital, but at least while you're there you've got someone else to clean up the mess. Give birth at home and, knowing my luck, I'd probably end up washing the sheets.

Many mothers say that the last day off they had was in the maternity ward. Make the most of it.

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