Don't Mess With Miss Beckles (BBC2)

Adopt-a-Grandad (C4)

'AM I in EastEnders? I've lost the plot. All I need is for Grant Mitchell to walk through that door and go, 'who do I need to sort out?'," said Yolande Beckles, reaching the end of her tether.

Despite the title something - or someone - really was messing with Miss Beckles. What started as Supernanny for teenagers became a full-scale parent v child war with one of her charges chucked out of the family home by his mother. There were no easy solutions and, as these sort of programmes have shown before, the real problem wasn't the obvious one.

Yolande Beckles is a no-nonsense, self-made educational entrepreneur who believes in tough methods to motivate inner city kids. Parents don't use discipline enough these days, she feels. "Children are now in control, that's a huge problem," she said, arriving at an East London secondary school in what was called a leafy, middle class surburb. It was successful but too many boys were failing to make the grade.

Luke, 16, and Josh, 15, were her subjects - bright but unmotivated, more interested their social life than doing homework. It was obvious that the situation at home had much to do with the boys' attitude. Josh's parents were separated, while Luke's mother had remarried and had a baby.

Luke, used to being the man of the house, felt rejected and argued with his mother. His stepfather's Caribbean background meant he wouldn't tolerate Luke's disrespect to his mother. Halfway through, Luke was thrown out of the family home and spent the rest of the film sleeping at friends' houses.

Miss Beckles' frustration was obvious and understandable as the situation deteriorated. For once a TV expert didn't have all the answers. By the end, both boys were reported to have made a slight improvement in their work but still weren't focused. Josh preferred fishing with his dad to studying, and Luke still wasn't living at home. Good television, but unhappy families.

Adopt-a-Grandad, in The Trouble With Old People season, had the potential to spread joy and happiness but, once more, it all went horribly wrong. Perhaps this was only to be expected when young and old, both fixed in their ways, are put together.

Retired teacher James, 85, was adopted as a grandad by single mum Angela and her four children. For all his bravado about having loads of friends and plenty to do, he's clearly been lonely since his wife's death two years ago. He moved in with Angela's family for ten days in the hope that it would lead to something more permanent.

It all started so well, then James's tendency to lecture and the youngsters' natural boisterousness began to grate on each other.

At the end, James declared it a wonderful experience, but he wasn't bothered about keeping in contact - clearly a disappointment to some of the children who'd grown to like and respect the older man.

Like Miss Beckles, a TV experiment had failed to produce a positive outcome.

The Vagina Monologues, Newcastle Theatre Royal

THE queue for the ladies is like a scene from TV's Tenko but the massed ranks of femininity are here to witness the stage debut of no-nonsense X-Factor judge Sharon Osbourne. It soon becomes clear that line-learning is one of the few attributes to pass Mrs Osbourne by, and probably why she opted for the friendly waters of the North-East to star in Eve Ensler's verbal assault about vaginas and dodged the X-rated waters of the West End. Peering over a pair of enormous glasses at cue cards, her spiked ginger-coloured hair also refusing to cooperate with the script, Mrs O soon peels back that long black dress for a glimpse of the mysteries within. It's a question of Sharon Stone eat your heart out, as Ozzy's better half presents the ultimate moan-ologue while enlivening the story of a lesbian sex worker using the Meg Ryan vocal method from When Harry Met Sally, only with a lot more variation.

A few (females) are offended but the majority whoop as though Sharon's bare-chested Chico had just split his trousers. Director Timothy Sheader throws in a couple of unnecessary arranged ad-libs, particularly when the over-confident Mrs O removes her glasses and can't remember the often-repeated Clit Fact - the clitoris mantra - and earns extra laughter by telling the massed ranks "oh, we've got two of something". Actress co-stars Jenny Jules, who fluffs just as many lines, and ex-Emmerdale favourite Lisa Riley, who doesn't, keep up the machine-gun delivery of lines. They are good, but the F-word queen is better.

l Runs until Saturday.

Box Office: 0870 905 5060

Viv Hardwick