Warts-and-all

More of that later. First I'd like to reveal I have decided not to apply to ghost write the five volumes of the Wayne Rooney story as rowing single-handedly across the Pacific would probably be easier. In any case I hear the job has been offered to Hunter Davies.

As the only authorised biographer of the Beatles, Davies has experience of rubbing shoulders with megastar Scousers. But there were four of them and it was just one book, so on that basis the publishers must think Rooney is 20 times more interesting than John Lennon.

Davies, who cut his journalistic teeth on Durham University's student newspaper, has also mixed with footballers before, being allowed into the inner sanctum of Tottenham Hotspur throughout the 1971-72 season to write The Glory Game.

As a warts-and-all portrayal of a top club and its famous players, such as Jimmy Greaves and Alan Gilzean, it created quite a stir and is still acknowledged as a classic of its kind.

Davies, who lives in the Lake District, has since written biographies of William Wordsworth and Beatrix Potter, who were rather more erudite than Rooney, although The Tale of Jemimah Puddleduck is probably just about his level of reading.

At 70, Davies should really be wandering among the host of golden daffodils which will bloom somewhere near his home once the snow melts. It will be very interesting to see whether he takes up the Rooney challenge, or whether he decides it's a sign that the publishing industry has gone totally bonkers.

If they think we are so stupid as to want to read every boring detail about people with nothing more to offer than footballing talent, why is a bookshop in Durham City selling off David Beckham's "My Side" at £2.99 when it was originally priced at £18.99?

OTHERS who presume to know our tastes are the television bigwigs. That they can also get things spectacularly wrong is shown by the fact that we can no longer watch our Ashes-winning cricketers on terrestrial TV, but we can, if we wish to stay up all night, watch 189 hours of Commonwealth Games action over 11 days.

It's tremendous for young lads like Wolsingham's Mathew Tait to have the chance to win a gold medal in the Rugby Sevens, but the level of interest in these games is reflected by the fact that the England team failed to attract any sponsorship from big business.

Wales and Scotland secured backing, perhaps because they are not part of a Great Britain team, as at the Olympics. But England's team of 349 contestants and 173 support staff is costing just short of £1m and after digging into their own reserves to find £300,000 the Commonwealth Games Council for England had to go cap-in-hand to Sport England.

Hopefully a few Eric the Eel-type stories will help to spice things up, but other than wishing all North-East contestants well, my only interest is in seeing Gail Emms and Nathan Robertson win the badminton. Their narrow defeat in the final was one of the highlights of the Sydney Olympics and deserved to bring their sport greater recognition.

CASHING in on success is not something for which we win gold medals. The enthusiasm generated by the Rugby World Cup win in 2003 continues to seep away and last summer's Ashes triumph will be a distant memory when our TV screens are filled by World Cup football this summer.

With six World Cup survivors axed for tomorrow's match against Ireland following the farce in France, there is only Ben Cohen left in the starting line-up, and he can count himself lucky.

It's not only the World Cup heroes who have been unable to maintain fitness and form, but also people like Josh Lewsey, a leading light among the new generation. He's the latest in a lengthy line of full backs who have flattered to deceive, following Tim Stimpson, Matt Perry and Iain Balshaw.

England simply didn't look like a team in Paris, and having ex-Rugby League star Joe Lydon as the attack coach clearly isn't working. New converts to the game in 2003 will have been completely turned off by the fumbling failure to score a try in the last two games.

Having Leicester's Andy Goode at fly half won't help, being merely a reflection of the preponderance of overseas fly halves in the Premiership in recent years.

WHEN Lord Stevens was appointed president of Durham County Cricket Club, it was said he was keen to be much more than a mere figurehead. I understand the former Metropolitan Police commissioner no longer holds the position, and little wonder when he has agreed to lead the inquiry into the Premier League's alleged bungs culture while also still probing the death of Princess Diana.

Published: 17/03/2006