Hamilton Academical Brian Wake was living up to his team's erudite image yesterday - sitting a maths exam just three days before the biggest match of his career.

Stockton lad and former Tow Law player, Brian scored twice in the Accies' 4-2 win at Dundee on Saturday after coming on as a 69th minute sub.

Now he's hoping it will all add up to a starting place in Thursday's Scottish FA Cup quarter-final replay against the same opposition - two first team division sides said by Scotland on Sunday to be "conjoined in mid-table mediocrity."

The winners play Gretna in the Hampden Park semi-final - the team from which the 23-year-old Teessider is on loan until the end of the season.

"I told him when he left that he'd probably score against us in the Scottish Cup. For once I hope I'm totally wrong," says Brooks Mileson, the Sunderland-born former international athlete who has masterminded Gretna's greatest ever romance.

Signed from Tow Law by Carlisle United, Brian moved to Gretna after a series of injuries but spent the first part of this season on loan at Scarborough before enlisting with the Academicals.

"It's unbelievable that we could be playing Gretna in the semi-final," he says. "Brooks Mileson is a top bloke who's been absolutely brilliant with me, but my allegiance is with Hamilton now and I'd be doing my best to put Brooks out of the cup. I'm sure he'd understand my situation."

Full- time at Hamilton, he still returns to his parents' home every Monday to attend college in Middlesbrough. "I'm absolutely hopeless at maths but I need some other strings to my bow," he says.

"It started when I was at Scarborough, which was quite convenient, but it's a lot further to come back for lessons from Scotland. I suppose you could call it distance learning."

Tow Law secretary Bernard Fairbairn says that Brian still visits the Co Durham high spots. "He's a lovely lad and a very good footballer who had no luck with injuries.

"We're also sponsored by Brooks Mileson and would have mixed feelings in the semi-final - but I really hope he passes his maths."

After the match between the Arngrove Northern League and Gretna two weeks ago, the fund for the dependants of the late and much loved Steven Tierney will be further boosted tonight at the ANL match between Durham City and Brandon. The game's sponsored by Archibald's of Durham, City's ever-generous main sponsor. All proceeds and sponsorship will benefit the fund.

Bobby Davison, England amateur international and Crook Town's victorious captain in the epic 1954-55 Amateur Cup final against Bishop Auckland, was back in town on Saturday for the FA Vase quarter-final with Bury Town.

The pitch a bit clarty, the match was finally given the go-ahead at 2pm. "They'd have played in ten foot of snow in my day," said Bob.

He's 83 - knees shot, eyesight iffy, memory as good as ever. "I remember fishing on the Wear down there, once caught the bank manager's hat. He'd have given me £1,000."

Bobby, it might be said, is also given to a fisherman's exaggeration.

"I remember the crowd of 15,000 who broke down the gate against Walton and Hersham," he said. By the end of the match the crowd had grown to 23,000.

Chiefly, however, the conversation concerned cricket. We gathered before kick-off at the Red Lion, between Bishop and Crook, one of several Co Durham villages where he'd been professional.

It was a ground where an electricity pylon stood where third man might normally be expected to do duty. "That pylon cost me hundreds of runs," said Bobby, though he still scored a canny few, nonetheless.

Les Dunn, among several former team-mates who joined the informal reunion, recalled a match when Bobby came in first wicket down, North Bitchburn 60-1 after 20 overs. In the remaining 25, the pro smashed an undefeated 167.

"Mind," said Alan Pratt, another ex-Bitchburn stalwart, "150 of them were off the edge."

Bobby, Kimblesworth lad originally, also remembered taking the first nine for Stanhope, at Evenwood.

"You'll not get all ten," vowed the tail-end Charlie and, to prevent it, stood back to let the opposite-end bowler end the innings.

At the ground he was joined by Jimmy McMillan, the only man to win four Amateur Cup winners' medals - been out of fettle, but getting better now - and by Bill Jeffs, the coach. Crook dominated but sadly lost 1-0.

The crowd was 1,946, the biggest for donkeys' years. They still didn't have to break down the gate.

The Millfield gate might have topped 2,000, in truth, had not Tyne Tees Television announced at lunchtime that the match was off.

Crook stalwart Michael Manuel was thus reduced to a passable impression of Wee Willie Winkie, running through the town. "I was knocking on doors all over telling them to take no notice of the telly," he said.

"We're thinking of writing to them, asking for compensation."

The column's dear old friend George Brown rings to dispute the quote in Friday's column that he was the second fastest player in the Northern League behind fellow amateur international Dave "Jock" Rutherford.

"Over 50 yards he was always five yards behind me. I was a greyhound and he was a dachshund," he says.

"Jock could beat me over 100 yards, but who the hell runs 100 yards on a football field?"

On Friday night to Whickham FC's sportsmen's dinner in Newcastle, the speaker Dr Kevin Jones.

Far from the usual harangue of hind legs has-beens, Dr Jones had nothing to do with football. He's consultant chest physician at Bury district hospital.

"You can tell brides in Bury," he said. "They're the ones in the white shell suit."

Previously he'd been on the heart/lung transplant team at Papworth hospital and at St Bartholomew's in London, England's oldest teaching hospital. "Speaking is where I earn the real money," he said.

His best story may have been the one about the chap who landed in casualty complaining about multiple organ failure.

"If I poke my spleen it hurts," he said. "If I poke my kidneys they hurt, if I poke my heart, it hurts."

Dr Jones examined him carefully. "Dozy devil," he said, "you've broken your finger."

One or other of these columns had cause the other day to mention former Middlesbrough and Darlington winger Don Burluraux. Hartlepool United historian Colin Foster points out that Don's dad Fred also played in the Football League.

Pools (as then they were) signed him from South Bank in May 1932. A year later, last game of the season, he made his only appearance in a 7-1 defeat at Mansfield.

Known as Battleaxe for reasons which may not be hard to imagine, Fred also played for Whitby Town and for Lingdale, in the days when the village side attracted canny crowds.

He was one of 13 players, says Colin, to make but a single Football League appearance for Hartlepool - Boro players Frank Spraggon and Stuart Boam and former Crook Town goalkeeper Fred Jarrie among the others.

...and finally

The England player who scored in the return tie against Cyprus in 1975 ("an absolutely crap match," recalls Paul Tully) was Kevin Keegan. It was delayed for four months - the second part of Friday's question - because of civil strife on the island.

Since the column began by talking about Dundee, readers are today invited to name the former Middlesbrough player who is the club manager.

More of bonny Dundee on Friday.

Published: 07/03/2006