THEY'RE DNA testing dog dirt on the Isle of Man. It's not that they think the dogs might have committed a crime. It's the owners they're after, the sort of owner who lets the dog foul the pavement and doesn't bother to clear up afterwards.

Sounds like a good idea to me. How many of us have cursed as we trod in some glutinous, stinking mess left on a pavement or grass verge, knowing that it'll take us ages to clean it off our shoes - and that if we don't our car or house will hold the smell for days to come? How many of us have feared to let our children or grandchildren play in a park or open space because some selfish dog owner may have let his dog soil the ground? Isn't it ridiculous that we have to have children's play areas fenced off and made dog-proof so that our children can play safely? Why not fence off areas for dogs instead?

Better still, why can't dog owners take that little bag and shovel with them whenever they walk their dog, and get into the habit of using it every time the animal does its business?

There are a few owners who always scoop up after their pet. I was impressed to see a woman in Shildon do just that, not so long ago. I gave her a silent inward cheer, for her public-spiritedness. But it's all too rare a sight.

All right, it must be a bit of a drag sometimes, having to carry all that stuff around with you. Not very pleasant either.

On the other hand, you might end up enjoying the wonderfully satisfying experience of the lady who had her bag snatched while out walking her dog. She watched with a triumphantly knowing smile as the mugger raced away. The bag he'd snatched was a very old handbag she always carried with her on such occasions. It was full to the brim with dog poo.

LIKE most pensioners, I enjoy the bus concession that can get me as far as Newcastle and back for half price. When I heard we were all going to get free travel instead I was delighted.

We all cheered too soon, it seems. What earthly use is a free pass that only takes you to the boundary of your district authority? What happens then? Do you have to go back to the bus driver to pay your half fare for the rest of the journey? Or does the driver have to work it all out at the start? Sounds complicated anyway.

What I really can't understand is why the district councils don't get their heads together and draw up a simple, region-wide system, so we can all enjoy the maximum flexibility.

But I don't want them to do it by removing student passes from teenagers. Or by cutting bus services - after all, if there aren't any buses to catch, there's no point in having concessionary travel.

WHAT a daft idea, suggesting Yorkshire puddings should only come from Yorkshire. Would that mean that every pub or restaurant that serves it with roast beef would have to have it brought in, ready-made, from Yorkshire, or else call it something else?

I've no problem with insisting Melton Mowbray pies should come from Melton Mowbray, or Wensleydale cheese from Wensleydale. They're obvious local products. But Yorkshire pudding has been a part of the traditional English Sunday dinner, prepared and cooked in homes the length and breadth of the land for generations. It's a recipe, not a product.

Published: 02/03/2006