On TV

Love Lies Bleeding (ITV1)

No Angels (C4)

Thin Ice (BBC2)

Jimmy's Farm is notable as the only series in which many of the cast get eaten. It sometimes seems like this is going to happen in Brat Camp but hasn't happened yet.

The pigs on Jimmy Docherty's 100-acre farm in Suffolk are the only ones to have ended up in bacon sarnies so far. But as the farm shop needs restocking after a busy Bank Holiday, who knows what might get the chop and end up on the shelf?

Jimmy was expecting a few hundred and got long queues of cars, blocking the single track serving as the only way in and out.

Despite those sales, he's still struggling after surviving fire, flood and electrocution in starting his business. Things still aren't running smoothly, like having to throw away £800-worth of sausages past their sell-by date.

So he went off to Italy to find ways to spice up his bangers and bacon repertoire. He'd have done better to sort things out at home first.

Only the first episode and he's left the country to retain our interest. The evidence suggests the makers will be hard pushed to find things to film.

A traffic jam, pregnant Ethel and two sexually-confused pigs ("It's a 69-er," said a farmhand as the male pig got the wrong end of the stick - and his mate - about reproduction).

It was more bearable than Love Lies Bleeding, one of those two-part psychological thrillers with which ITV1 loves to fill the 9pm slot. Martin Kemp got in a tizzy after being framed for murder by old school friend Hugo Speer. This type of thriller only works if you (a) believe the plot and (b) believe the actors. Neither convinced me. I made my excuses and left before the second episode.

The returning - for the last time - nurses of No Angels also defy belief. If they really behave this badly in hospital, no wonder people claim the NHS is in disarray.

Kate was desperate to be a good ward sister, after attending a course in which she was encouraged to "challenge and inspire" fellow health workers.

The test came when an anthrax scare led to the ward being quarantined. Then it was discovered that the white powder found on the suspect was speed and his photo of Osama Bin Laden was golfer Sam Torrance. "The only thing he was a member of was the chess club," Kate was told.

Disturbingly Tom Ellis, now the Albert Square doctor in EastEnders, has been demoted to an orderly in No Angels. Confusion too on hearing an ice skater shout, "Becky's wet her pants". I know that celebrity skaters on Dancing On Ice get nervous, but this was ridiculous.

We were, in fact, with the actors in Thin Ice, a new comedy set in the world of amateur ice skating. The humour is more smile-inducing than side-splitting but the timing, coinciding with ITV's hit Dancing On Ice, couldn't be better.

Brighton Beach,

Newcastle University

NO, this isn't a review of a beach down south but of the best indie night out Newcastle has to offer. Much has been made of many of the indie nights in Newcastle being commercialised and in some respects ruined, but Brighton Beach is like an unspoilt Caribbean paradise; it oozes class.

For £6 entry there are three rooms to choose from, all as superb as each other. The main room plays mod and Sixties music. The second, smaller room plays soul music with the new third room playing more modern indie tunes. The night works because the people who go love every second and the DJs have fun spinning the tunes.

Even though getting to the bar after about midnight is, at times, impossible, the only sad thing about the night is that it has to end and you have to wait patiently for the next night a month later. Maybe that's part of the appeal of the place: it's four hours once a month and it always leaves you wanting more.

Keir Waugh

Marrying The Mistress, Newcastle Theatre Royal

JOANNA Trollope's best-selling novel has been skilfully adapted by David Taylor and features a well-respected cast whose faces will be familiar from TV programmes. This calibre of actor is more Judge John Deed and Midsomer Murders than Casualty and The Bill, and it's good to see them taking to the regional stage.

The play is a family portrait - the repercussions of a seemingly selfish act by one family member upon the lives of the others.

Respected Judge Guy, married for 40 years to Laura, announces that he's been having an affair for the past seven years and has decided to divorce his wife and marry 31-year-old Merrion. Instinctively, his two adult sons close ranks to protect their mother, the injured party, with Simon, the elder, agreeing to act as her solicitor against the wishes of his wife Carrie.

As the characters develop it becomes clear that nothing is black and white, and perhaps there is more to the situation than first meets the eye.

The characters are finely drawn by Adrian Lukis as Simon, Jeremy Clyde as Guy, Caroline Langrish as Carrie and Elizabeth Healey as Merrion. Young Mat Ruttle as Simon's son Jack is excellent, unbowed by such experienced colleagues. Jacqueline Clarke as Merrion's concerned mum Gwen, and Polly Adams as emotionally manipulative Laura, will strike a chord with every mother's son, and that's Joanna Trollope's forte - her characters have traits with which we can all identify.

Until Saturday. Box Office: 0870-905 5060

Sue Heath