On TV

The Sex Tapes That Shocked The World (five)

Sir Alan Sugar wasn't very sweet when he learnt that the women's team had been using their feminine wiles to achieve victory as the new series of The Apprentice got under way.

He frowned upon them using their bodies to sell their fruity goods. I reckon he was just jealous that if he wore a tight top to show off his man breasts, it wouldn't boost his chances of making a sale.

This made for a cracking start to the competition in which 14 would-be entrepreneurs - seven men and seven women - compete for a dream job with a six-figure salary with Sir Alan's company.

He loves playing at being the tough no-nonsense boss, pointing out it's not a game show where the outcome is determined by phone or text votes or a panel of judges. Making money is the object which made his objection to the women deciding to dress to impress all the more surprising.

The lesson learnt was that if you're climbing the corporate ladder, make sure you're wearing knickers because you never know who's behind you.

Divided into two teams - men and women - they were given £500 each to buy fruit and vegetables which they had to sell at a profit.

The women blatantly used their feminine wiles to woo wholesalers and blag boxes of free, if slightly rotting, fruit and veg. This battle of the sexes resulted in a resounding victory for the women, who spent just £41 and came back with £1,143. The men spent £300 and came back with £781. At which point, Sir Alan got uppity about the women's methods and threatened to declare their victory invalid which seemed very mean of him.

Sex is definitely the selling point of a certain type of tape - the celebrity sex video. Kevin "KB" Blatt is the world's leading sex tape promoter. He's been called a pornographer, sleazeball and purveyor of porn, but tells the TV people, "I'm just an information provider like you guys".

The industry that brought us Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson having sex on camera has become more widely available thanks to camera phones and the Internet.

Some celebrities profit from their sexual activities, others are exposed accidentally like Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit - a name that's quite amusing considering his state when filming himself and a lady friend with his phone camera. The footage was stolen from his computer hard drive (no comment) and distributed.

Quality doesn't matter. The first Paris Hilton sex tape was shot in night vision causing participants to "look like evil elves having sex". And presumably footballers who filmed themselves on the "England team Cyprus tape" wanted to study their ball control by watching an action replay later on.

Jerry Springer The Opera, York Grand Opera House

Far too much time has been spent resisting attempts to have this musical banned and not nearly enough singing the praises of a unique theatrical experience.

The TV version didn't do the award-winning Richard Thomas and Stewart Lee show any favours by simply pointing a camera at the stage and failing to adapt it for a different medium.

A second viewing in the theatre confirms that this is a brilliant idea, brilliantly executed and, in this touring version, brilliantly entertaining.

Those who complain on religious grounds - including the small band of protestors handing out leaflets outside the Grand Opera House - are, I suspect, talking with inadequate knowledge of the content and context of the show.

They would wait In vain to be offended in the first half as one of Jerry Springer's TV shows, complete with trailer trash guests and their sexual problems, is played out as an opera.

There are four-letter words but no more than you'll hear in many movies or late night TV series these days. Hearing them sung in operatic arias exposes them as both ridiculous and hilarious. The satire takes a devilish, indeed more serious, turn as Springer is consigned to hell to host a version of his show with the likes of Jesus, God and Satan as guests.

The arguments as to whether this is blasphemous have been well aired. Those who feel they might be offended know well enough to stay away. Anyone who enjoys the thought of a lively, tuneful, funny and well-sung musical show should buy their tickets immediately. And, quite honestly, any show featuring tap-dancing Ku Klux Klansmen gets my vote.

Until Saturday. Box Office: 0870 606 3596.

Then Newcastle Theatre Royal, May 1-6. Box Office: 0870 905 5060

Steve Pratt

Two Thousand Years, Newcastle Theatre Royal

WITH Mike Leigh at the helm it was hardly surprising that the entire National Theatre cast has taken to the road with this wunderlech examination of the director's Jewish beliefs. Brilliant maths student Josh (Ben Caplan) angrily throws himself into orthodox religion, leaving his Cricklewood dentist dad Danny (Allan Corduner) and mum Rachel (Caroline Gruber) caught between amusement and despair. Charity campaigner daughter Tammy (Alexis Zegerman) just sees the funny side while granddad Dave (John Burgess) calls him Rabbi. Leigh cleverly stitches this in with the bigger picture of Middle Eastern politics ensuring the Israeli state is on the receiving end. A first half of short, sharp TV-style scenes broken up by interminable black-outs - which seemed shorter when the show ran at the Cottesloe - saps the attention of an audience already dealing with an Ikea-riddled set on the skew.

The second half is more like old-fashioned farce as Dave's younger daughter Michelle (Samantha Spiro) surfaces after 11 years of absence to madly accuse her family of not telling her that her mother has died. Tammy's new Israeli boyfriend Tzachi plays hard-nosed peacekeeper while family friend Jonathan (Adam Godley) provides a brief moment of sanity. Challenging, insulting, uproarious and blessed with comic genius, Leigh's NT debut is not just memorable but drawing a new kind of audience to theatre. Topicality like the New Orleans flood may eventually be its downfall, but this is one slice of London life that few will forget.

Runs until Saturday. Box Office: 0870 905 5060

Viv Hardwick