On TV

Who Do You Think You Are? (BBC2)

Three days into a week of TV documentaries about their 3,000 mile row across the Atlantic and yesterday oarsmen Ben Fogle and James Cracknell were only just taking to the water. What had they been doing with themselves for two whole episodes?

No sooner were they in the open sea than Fogle was moaning that he was "sore, ached, tired, pissed off, I don't want to be here".

Four days at sea and he wasn't any more cheerful. "I wish I wasn't here. I wish I was with Marina," he said.

Marina, incidentally, is the name of his girlfriend and he confided, in between the gripes, how great she was. I couldn't help wondering if her nautically-inclined name was part of the attraction.

A week of chaos - to quote the narrator - preceded the pair starting the race. They seemed unprepared not only in how to handle the 24ft rowing boat that was to be their home for 50 days but also ill-equipped psychologically.

Both had different ambitions. Fogle viewed their voyage as a crossing, Olympic gold medallist Cracknell saw it as a race.

There was precious little racing going on when bad weather dogged them for ten days. They rowed when they could. Most of the time the wind pushed them round in circles. Sometimes they went backwards. They were going nowhere fast, although still managed to be in first place.

If rowing day and night in shifts gets boring, then watching two men rowing day and night in shifts has a similar effect on a viewer. The tedium was broken by occasional straight-to-camera confessions or the odd glimpse of a bare bottom.

The pair, it's reported, spent much of the time rowing in the buff but the BBC is being very careful not to show any dangly bits at 9.30 in the morning.

With a hurricane approaching, the pair were forced to squeeze into a cabin barely big enough for one. Fogle had only himself to blame as he'd invited Cracknell to partner him on the trip. "I could have chosen Nell McAndrew, couldn't I?," he said.

She may not have been much of a rower but it would have made his time in that tiny cabin so much more fun.

Family history series Who Do You Think You Are? is giving BBC2 the lion's share of viewers in its timeslot and you can see why - a famous person tracking down long-lost relatives combines a detective story and social history with our liking for prying into the lives of celebrities.

The search for family information took Bend It Like Beckham director Gurinder Chadha, who was raised in South London, to Africa, India and Pakistan.

She was able to trace her roots back to the early 1800s before her ancestors left India for Kenya. Amazingly, she discovered that her ancestors were involved in fighting Alexander the Great when he invaded India in 327BC.

Rambert Dance Company: Newcastle Theatre Royal

I've never experienced modern dance before, so the knowledgeable comparisons by my colleagues went right over my head, as did some of the performance.

Over its 80 years the company has been through some challenges from which it has emerged stronger than ever, and its award-winning programme of educational workshops will continue to introduce youngsters to innovative dance projects.

The evening's entertainment consisted of four short pieces, and the first was a new work called A Steel Garden by Christopher Bruce.

My heart sank as David Heath's score progressed; a percussive cacophany with discordant piano and woodwind which to my unsophisticated ear sounded like a toddler with a wooden spoon in a saucepan cupboard.

The symbolism of the dance escaped me, too, but I cheered up considerably when the next piece, Judgement of Paris, was recognisably the classical myth about the three goddesses competing for the golden apple. In this case they were exhausted floozies vying for the attention of a drunken punter. Perfectly executed right down to the scruffy pianist giving selections from The Threepenny Opera, the dancers remained in character to take their bow, much to everyone's amusement.

I enjoyed the duet Divine Influence, combining astonishing athleticism with some almost childlike movements.

The finale, Constant Speed, is inspired by Einstein's theories of physics, and the joy of movement is evident in the company's smiling enjoyment of the piece.

Rambert sets out to resist the standards of classical ballet and the result is dance of breathtaking athleticism, sometimes acrobatic and always inspiring.

Sue Heath

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