With football very much in vogue, Premiership grounds frequently attract top notch celebrities such as Sir Richard Attenborough, Ant 'n' Dec, Robbie Williams and the like.

But it's not only the Premiership which attracts A-list stars. In League Two on Saturday Darlington were watched by a genuine superstar of children's TV - none other than the legend that is Timmy Mallett!

Yes, the squeaky-voiced, 1980s star renowned for his unique spectacles was sat among the Oxford fans during Quakers' 2-0 win but unfortunately he was not brandishing his trademark sponge-mallet.

The Bit on the Side team can report that the glasses are disappointingly sombre these days, but he was sporting a ridiculous, spiky, yellow furry hat. Of course he did, would you have expected anything else?

Darlington's ground may be a little too big to create much of an atmosphere for League Two football, but spare a thought for Arsenal fans who face the prospect of seeing the Gunners play in the biggest stadium....in the world, ever!

According to one website last week, when Thierry Henry and co. move from Highbury next season they will be playing in a stadium that could house over half a million people each game.

Soccernet reported: "Arsenal managing director Keith Edelman told reporters that premium season ticket and executive box sales had gone well for the 600,000-seater ground which Arsenal will swap for the 38,000-capacity Highbury."

Ian Wright - why do the BBC still employ this professional loudmouth? His so-called expert analysis after Man. United's win over Burton Albion on BBC1 last week amounted to: "Burton just couldn't lose tonight. Except that they did." Brilliant, well done that man.

Still on the commentating theme, it seems Sky Sports' Gerry Armstrong is easily pleased. During the Real Betis-Real Madrid match last week the former Northern Ireland international squealed: "The matches between these two teams are always exciting. In one of the games last year the floodlights failed."

Parties at the Armstrongs' must be a real hoot.

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

NEWS OF THE WORLD: Sven-Goran Eriksson was branded ''naive and indiscreet'' and warned about his future behaviour as the FA revealed how they felt betrayed by the Swede.....Graeme Souness' future as Newcastle manager will be decided in the next 48 hours.....West Ham have clinched the club record £7m signing of Norwich striker Dean Ashton.

SUNDAY MIRROR: David Beckham is coming home after England's World Cup campaign in Germany this summer. North London rivals Tottenham and Arsenal will lead the chase for his signature.....Graeme Souness is facing the axe after a mass demonstration by angry Newcastle United fans outside St James' Park.

SUNDAY EXPRESS: FA chief executive Brian Barwick will tell Sven-Goran Eriksson's critics the only thing that matters is winning the World Cup rather than plotting the Swede's downfall.....Graeme Souness is facing the axe at Newcastle.

MAIL ON SUNDAY: Graeme Souness is facing the axe as Newcastle United manager.....West Ham ended weeks of speculation when they signed Dean Ashton from Norwich for £7.25m.

THE PEOPLE: Manchester United paid Wayne Rooney's agent a staggering £1.6m to clinch his move from Everton .....West Ham will unveil record signing Dean Ashton on the pitch before Monday's clash with Fulham at Upton Park.... Everton boss David Moyes is trying to sign Middlesbrough striker Mark Viduka on loan for the rest of the season.....Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp is set to sign Senegal centre-half Souleymane Diawara in a £3m deal from French side Sochaux.

DAILY STAR SUNDAY: Liverpool keeper Jose Reina claimed it's a myth that Wayne Rooney is the best player in the Premiership.....West Ham will have a new £14m strike force next season - Dean Ashton and Barcelona's Maxi Lopez.