So Tony Blair admits to having sometimes smacked his older children. Now he thinks he was wrong.

He's not alone in that. Most parents of previous generations will have smacked their children, at least occasionally, and generally as a last, exasperated resort. I did it myself - to little effect, perhaps because I never slapped very hard, though for a few seconds it made me feel better. Later, I generally wished I hadn't done it.

Now, much older, I'm quite sure there are better ways to discipline children than by smacking them.

When those two boys were on trial for murdering James Bulger, someone said to me: "They should have had a good hiding when they were younger. Then they'd not have done it."

Later, of course, it came out that this was precisely what they had suffered - lots of "good hidings". It gave them a very clear message: this is the way to treat children smaller than you, by hurting them. It was a message they took to heart only too well.

All right, I'm not for a minute suggesting that every child who's hit is going to end up a child-killer. Of course not. The world is full of people who say smacking never did them any harm, and it's probably true (although how do we know?). But I still can't help thinking that hitting a child, however lightly, tells him or her that it's all right to hit someone, especially someone smaller than yourself. After all, children learn by example.

As for corporal punishment in schools, that's something that cast an appalling shadow over my own childhood. The chief memory I have of my first junior school is the fear of being caned. The fact that girls never were caned made no difference - knowing that cane was there was enough. After all, how were you to be sure that some ordinary misdemeanour - talking too much, day-dreaming - wouldn't bring the teacher down on you, cane in hand?

So I'm very glad they don't allow corporal punishment in schools any more. I doubt that it worked even on those who received it. They were mostly the lads who were going to misbehave anyway and many of them regarded it as a sign of toughness to be singled out like that.

And before you say discipline is a problem these days, yes, so it is in many schools, but that's more to do with the fact that parents often fail to support the school in controlling their children than anything to do with a lack of a cane in the corner cupboard.

Then there's all the junk food so many children eat, which sends them wild.

As for discipline at home, a parental smack is very different from a "good hiding" and it would be stupid to drag mothers into court for an exasperated tap. And isn't a sharp tongue sometimes as cruel as a smack?

But discipline isn't the same thing as smacking, and there are gentler ways of protecting and guiding children, even if you don't fancy trying TV Supernanny Jo's "naughty step". If you're firm and consistent and resolutely refuse to give in to pester-power, if you ignore tantrums and reward good behaviour with praise and encouragement, then I believe you're well on the way to helping your child grow into the sort of confident, balanced, kindly adult we'd all want our children - or grandchildren - to be. So though it's harder and demands a lot more patience to bring children up without that smack, isn't it better for us all in the end?

Published: 19/01/2006