Try as he might, the BBC's chief rottweiler just couldn't stop the mask from slipping to reveal the real Jeremy Paxman.

The Newsnight presenter swapped shows to take the starring role in the latest episode of the BBC programme Who Do You Think You Are? in which famous personalities trace their roots.

I have my issues with Mr Paxman but I do agree with his view that there is a lot of dross on TV. This programme is a welcome exception.

As it began he tried to retain his Newsnight persona of a ruthless inquisitor, sneering and snapping at the poor chap trying to interview him.

But as his family story unfolded and the tales of workhouse life and death, of poverty, disease and fortitude were laid bare, genuine flashes of personal anger and sorrow were clear. We saw the real Jeremy Paxman.

Perhaps the experience will make Mr Paxman change his interviewing stance. Perhaps the real Jeremy Paxman, a more considerate, thoughtful individual will be allowed to emerge, but I doubt it.

We all play different roles in life. Our persona at home or with friends is often very different from that at work, where many people feel they need to be seen as tough rather than be seen as fair, nice, or even-handed

I have met many people socially and been surprised at how witty, warm hearted and genuine they really are. I'm left wondering why they don't act like that in their day jobs.

Recently, in a small debate with a handful of politicians, I was trying to convince them of the merits of a course of action. In summing up, one of them made it clear he totally agreed with what I had said. He then voted the opposite way because his party leader indicated he should.

It's exasperating but I've come to the conclusion that it is the nature of politics and sadly there is no way round it. To be seen to be agreeing with another side is perceived as treachery, a weakness.

I am guilty of it myself at times and I confess I have a long way to go.

As Mayor, I have walked into a room and mentally braced myself for a battle before a word has been spoken.

Enlightenment often comes in the most unexpected of ways and, for me, it was a meeting earlier this week with three men who had all suffered mental health problems.

One explained to me how, before his illness, he was regarded as a nice person, a kind person at work. But this also led to him being regarded as weak, a soft touch, and he was taken advantage of. This led to him developing low self esteem and finally suffering a breakdown.

He is recovering now and has reflected a lot on what happened.

"I was a nice person and I still want to be a nice person. Why is that seen as a weakness?, he asked.

Thankfully the poverty and degradation experienced by Mr Paxman's great grandparents no longer exists.

But I wonder if the mental survival mode, the determination and refusal to give an inch that helped people come through such times, remains in our minds today.

Life has changed to such an extent that most people in this country now have a roof over their head and food on the table. Education and health services are available to all.

Is it possible for us to change mentally so that being nice in the workplace is seen as a virtue, not a weakness?

Published: 13/01/2006