IT'S nothing to do with the arrival of Santa, but I don't think I've been so excited since I used to listen for him coming down the chimney. I'm salivating on the edge of my seat, all aquiver at the prospect of tomorrow night's big fight.
It promises to be classic comedy to rival that great British heavyweight title fight of the 70s between Danny McAlinden and Jack Bodell, when both ended up on the canvas at the same time.
Just like Audley Harrison I have a dream that he will become the world champion. Except that mine's more of a nightmare in which old cynics like me are required to choke on our words for doubting his talent and relentlessly taking the mickey.
Here is a man whose professional record reads 19 fights, 19 wins. But ten of those came under a £10m contract with the BBC under which he was allowed to pick his opponents and opted for ten tubs of motionless lard. It must rank as the most scandalous waste of licence-payers' money in the history of broadcasting.
When the Beeb saw sense and ditched him he took umbrage and sought exile in the United States, where he thought he would command greater respect. But now he's back to fight Danny Williams in front of a 15,000 sell-out crowd at the ExCel Centre in London and if Audley wins, as I suspect he will, the prospect of a world title shot will hove into view.
After winning the 2000 Olympic title at the relatively advanced age of 28 you'd have thought Audley had no time to lose, but after dithering through 19 tussles of little consequence perhaps he now realises the day of reckoning has come.
If he loses to Williams all he has to look forward to is more ridicule and calls to quit, but if he wins the heavyweight cupboard is so bare following Vitali Klitschko's retirement that he can set his sights on the top belt instead of one of those you can buy at Tesco.
Audley must have some talent to have won Olympic gold. Now is the time to show it.
ALTHOUGH I asked a few weeks ago who would last the longer - Graham Rix as manager of Celtic or Paul Gascoigne at Kettering - it gives me no pleasure to witness Gazza's demise. He is obviously a tormented soul and needs help to stop himself meeting the same premature end as George Best, and as he's a true Geordie it would be nice to think he could find that help close to home.
Ideally Newcastle United would find him a job, any job which would keep him involved in football and provide him with a lifeline in an environment where he had friends and family around.
But memories of miscreant Magpies are too recent, so the management won't want a daft-as-a-brush alcoholic anywhere near them. So why doesn't a struggling non-league club offer Gazza and Sir Bobby Robson the chance to resurrect them?
They are both football junkies, they are not short of money and they share a mutual respect. Working with Sir Bobby as a father figure might help to get Gazza back on the straight and narrow and provide some valuable grounding for a career in coaching. As for management, he should forget it.
I HEAR that someone else who's almost as daft as a brush, Darren Gough, is doing well in a dancing competition on the television. Unlike Phil Tufnell, he turned down some other TV caper which apparently takes place in a jungle and which lifted Tuffers to such giddy heights of celebrity that he could afford to give up the one thing he was any good at, cricket.
Will the Dazzler go down the same route? Until he opted not to go to Pakistan he was still seen as a key element of England's one-day team and insisted he was determined to play in the 2007 World Cup. Somehow I don't think he'll make it.
WELL as the Durham cricketers did in securing their promotion double, the North East's team of the year must be Newcastle Eagles, who completed a nine-month treble when they won the British Basketball League Cup on Sunday.
Under the management of Paul Blake, it has taken five years since the club was cast adrift by Sir John Hall's aborted Newcastle Sporting Club to reach this amazing peak. Involved throughout that time has been Sunday's Most Valuable Player award winner, T J Walker, but it now seems his time on Tyneside could be nearing its end.
His family have returned to California so his children can attend an American school and TJ will discuss his future with his wife when he joins them for a nine-day Christmas break. While he would obviously be a huge loss, the club's development of local talent is sufficiently well established for them to continue to challenge for honours, backed by an ever-growing fan club.
What a shame that where Eagles dare, Magpies and Falcons currently fear to tread.
Published: 09/12/2005
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