WITH their side losing 3-0 to Chelsea, it was somewhat ironic that the Stamford Bridge tannoy announcer warned Newcastle's fans to expect no service on the District Line because of problems with the track.
They had grown accustomed to no service after watching Shola Ameobi lead the line without success but, with grim predictability, Newcastle's major troubles lay elsewhere. Forget problems with the track, yet again the Magpies were hampered by problems at the back.
An impressive first half, in which Graeme Souness' side matched the Premiership champions for both industry and invention, counted for nothing once their age-old defensive frailties reared their head after the break.
Displaying a nonchalance that bordered on narcolepsy, Titus Bramble casually rolled the ball to Eidur Gudjohnsen. A pass to Joe Cole, a shot past Shay Given and the game was as good as won.
Not to be outdone, Nolberto Solano duly followed his team-mate's lead some four minutes later.
Michael Essien swooped as he dallied in possession, Frank Lampard fed the unmarked Hernan Crespo, and the Argentinian striker applied the finish.
Two basic errors - two Chelsea goals. As Souness has learned to his cost, it happens far too often at Newcastle.
"We have cut the mistakes out recently," said Solano, who should know all about Newcastle's culture of cock-ups from his first spell at the club. "Stamford Bridge is not the best place to start making them again. When you give away chances like we did, the ball ends up in the net.
"There was not that much difference between Chelsea and us. The main one, though, was that we made the mistakes and they didn't. We gave the ball away far too easily and we can't do that again if we want to have a good season."
In many ways, Saturday's game summed up Newcastle's campaign. Plenty of effort and the odd sign of promise undermined by errors and injuries.
One can only imagine the reaction of the Chelsea dressing room when the visitors' team-sheet was handed to them half-an-hour before kick-off.
As if missing the likes of Alan Shearer, Kieron Dyer, Albert Luque and Stephen Carr was not bad enough, the Magpies were also denied the services of Michael Owen.
The England international suffered a groin strain as he took part in some extra shooting practice at the end of Friday's training session and was sent back to the North-East on Saturday lunch-time. In reality, Newcastle's chances went with him.
Ameobi was asked to play as a lone striker despite being ill-equipped for the job and, unsurprisingly, it was 68 minutes before United recorded their first shot of the game. Equally unsurprisingly, it was a midfielder - Charles N'Zogbia - that recorded it, not Ameobi.
All sides suffer from injuries, but Newcastle have suffered more than most for the last two seasons and, like Souness, the club's fans are justified in asking why a succession of muscular problems continue to afflict their biggest names. Even a club like Chelsea would feel the effect of having more than £45m of talent loitering on the treatment table.
As it was, Newcastle were asked to stifle the Premiership pacesetters with a five-man midfield and, for the first half at least, their patched-up side coped impressively.
Scott Parker was his usual industrious self and, with Emre and Lee Bowyer offering equally effusive support, Chelsea struggled to shake off the hangover that had accompanied successive defeats to Real Betis and Manchester United.
Indeed, the home side should have been behind in only the fifth minute as Bowyer was denied a clear penalty after John Terry had mistimed his tackle in the box and taken the midfielder's legs from underneath him.
Given that referee Mark Halsey had been unable to spot Justin Whittle's assault on Shearer last month, it was clearly too much to expect him to notice such a blatant offence. Quite what his assistant, Roger East, was doing though is anyone's guess.
"I don't ask the referees about the decisions they make," said a disgruntled but hardly disbelieving Souness. "There's no point putting yourself out there because you don't get any sense out of them.
"All I will say is that it's the same referee that was involved at Grimsby a couple of weeks ago. We questioned what he did then, and subsequently we were proved right. I'm sure the same will happen here. We know what we saw."
True, but Souness will also know what he saw after the interval. Bramble's gaffe was the kind of mistake that has peppered his play since he made a £5m move from Ipswich in 2002.
Souness recently claimed that the 24-year-old was starting to look like an England international. He is, but only if that England international is the equally error-prone Rio Ferdinand.
Tellingly, though, Bramble is not even the most unreliable performer in Newcastle's back four at the moment. Jean-Alain Boumsong looked nervous and hesitant from first moment to last and it is frightening to think that United's defensive hopes now seem to rest with a novice 19-year-old who has made less than 30 Premiership starts.
It is to be hoped Steven Taylor's recovery time is closer to Souness' prognosis of three weeks than his specialist's prediction of eight.
Boumsong was caught horribly out of position as Gudjohnsen came close to grabbing a third, but could do nothing in stoppage time as Damien Duff beat Shay Given with a ball that looped off Parker's.
A three-goal defeat was harsh on the visitors, but represented progress of a sort. Two years ago, Chelsea were 5-0 winners while, last season, they scored four without reply. By 2008, Newcastle can expect a goalless draw. Provided, of course, their defence becomes more reliable than London's trains.
Result: Chelsea 3, Newcastle United 0.
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