Something brown and slimy is crawling through the undergrowth. But enough of antiques expert David Dickinson doing a bushtucker trial in I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here because someone who knows all about wildlife returns to TV screens next week.
King of the jungle - and other wildlife habitats - David Attenborough is back with a new BBC1 series, Life In The Undergrowth. Viewers are promised a fascinating journey to Africa, North America and Taiwan to observe such sights as an army of matabele ants raiding a termite colony, swarming purple Crow butterflies and 17-year-old cicadas. Whether this can outdo the prospect of a former Prime Minister's daughter eating kangaroo testicles or little Jimmy Osmond (not quite so little these days) covered in maggots, spiders and other creepy-crawlies remains to be seen.
It's coincidental that both wildlife shows begin the same week, and just a little bit confusing. Why not go the whole hog (if it's not being hunted and eaten by the celebrities) and combine the two? Put Ant and Dec back on a plane to Geordieland and get Attenborough to present daily reports from the celebrity camp.
I'm not even going to bother trying to ignore I'm A Celebrity because past experience tells me that once those bushtucker trials start and the full horror of their predicament sinks in, it'll be unmissable daily TV.
The mix of pop people (Osmond, Blue's Anthony Costa and Jenny Frost from Atomic Kitten) and ex-soap stars (Elaine Lordan and Sid "Rick-eeee" Owen from EastEnders, real life footballer's wife and ex-Emmerdale actress Sheree Murphy and Kimberley Davies from Neighbours) with people we'd gladly cast away alone on a desert island (Dickinson, wine expert Jilly Goolden, Carol Thatcher) is a promising one.
The two programmes go head-to-head on Wednesday. While the celebrity shenanigans - the rows, the hunger, the humiliation, the bugs - will be reassuringly familiar, Life In The Undergrowth explores the seldom-covered world of invertebrates. Digital technology, including new kinds of lenses, makes it possible to film small creatures with more accuracy, immediacy and vividness than ever before, says Attenborough.
This means the life of matabele ants can be viewed in greater close-up. "If you work in Africa, you can see them regularly setting out on their raids. If you're walking the bush, a column of matabele ants off on the warpath is a pretty common scene," he says.
"They live by conducting regular raids on termite hills and, when they do that, they disappear inside the nest and, not only were we able to see them on the march in much greater detail than before, we were able to film the battles that go on inside the termite hill."
Cameras in the Australian rainforest will capture the celebrities 24/7 as they go to war with each other. Being cooped up with little to eat and drink will take its toll. Goolden's wine expertise won't be needed, neither will Dickinson's valuation skills.
For viewers, half the fun of I'm A Celebrity is watching vaguely familiar people getting up close and personal with odd-looking, foul-smelling and strange-tasting creatures. All their phobias about snakes, spiders and other jungle horrors will come into play.
Attenborough would do better than most as he's come into contact with a vast array of creatures filming series such as Life On Earth, The Life Of Birds and The Life Of Mammals. He rarely gets squeamish. "There are some things you ought to be squeamish about - very big centipedes that are 18 inches long, because they're very poisonous. They can kill a human baby with a bite.
"But I don't think I'm particularly squeamish about anything else. I suppose big spiders can make you jump - spiders as big as your hands. But that's quite irrational really. They seldom bite."
The main problem filming Life In The Undergrowth was the very small world in which the series is set, where none of the characters is more than a quarter of an inch long, and some are no bigger than a full stop. Ask him about personal favourites among his many programmes and he mentions birds of paradise. "I made a film about them four or five years ago, which was a particular favourite of mine," he says. And there was I thinking his birds of paradise referred to Jordan and other scantily-clad babes who've adorned the celebrity camp.
One particularly memorable moment in Attenborough's new series came filming 17-year-old cicadas in the eastern half of North America. They attach themselves underground to the roots of trees, he explains.
"After 17 years, the entire population emerge at the same time. There are literally millions of them in the wood and all the males sing. The noise is absolutely deafening. And it goes on for about a week. Then they relax for 17 years."
He's already working on his next series about amphibians and reptiles. And after that? "By then I shall be 85, so I think perhaps I'll wait and see how I feel," he says.
Somehow, I don't think Attenborough will ever be at a loss for work and feel the need to enlist on I'm A Celebrity.
* I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here begins on ITV1 tomorrow at 9pm.
* Life In The Undergrowth begins on BBC1 on Wednesday at 9pm.
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