Get the message across

We were supremely well rewarded on Tuesday by one Boro footballer failing a drug test, another earning a slap on the wrist for knocking down a cyclist, and Steve Harmison being fined £100 for clocking 97mph in his BMW.

I have a shred of sympathy for Abel Xavier as he's probably telling the truth in claiming the drug was contained in something he was taking for medicinal purposes. After all, as has been noted before, the only drug which can enhance a footballer's performance is Viagra.

Perhaps Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink also deserves some sympathy as no evidence was offered of anything other than carelessness when he sent a cyclist flying while turning right in his Range Rover near his Harrogate home. But being fined £250 - little more than a hour's pay - is hardly going to encourage him to take any more care than the speeding fine he received in May. Perhaps the mounting endorsements will make him realise he's in danger of becoming a cyclist himself. It's a long way from Harrogate to Hurworth on a bike.

One danger of our obsession with celebrities is that it tends to make the objects of our worship think they are above the law. The authorities have to keep clamping down mercilessly in the battle against drugs to get the message across, and it's time magistrates started handing out the sort of punishments which will make wealthy sports stars think twice about flying fearlessly around the country in their flashy motors.

OTHER sporting celebrities in the news are Charlotte Church's boyfriend, Gavin Henson, and the megastar Audley Harrison, who will very shortly be the same age as Frank Bruno when he retired yet is only now getting round to fighting for the British title.

Sadly, there will be huge amount of morbid curiosity surrounding Harrison's fight with Danny Williams and it will certainly arouse more interest than Henson's book. I can't imagine why anyone other than Charlotte and his mum would wish to read it.

I have no doubt that Henson's favourite possession is a mirror, and it seems his vanity was punctured by his treatment on the Lions tour. But while he's merely jumping on a well-oiled bandwagon by taking a swipe at Clive Woodward, it's not very wise to have a go at fellow players. He has accused Lions captain Brian O'Driscoll of gouging and sledging during last season's Six Nations clash.

Well he'd better get used to it because a much more popular rugby celebrity, Jonny Wilkinson, is obviously being targeted, as the late tackles at Leicester showed.

PREDICTIONS that Rugby League would fade away once Union turned professional have proved well wide of the mark with the 13-a-side game flourishing since it became a summer sport.

The fact that Union crowds are still growing for top club matches must be a reflection of human bloodlust because as the game becomes ever more physical the sort of exciting, skilful, play to which Newcastle aspire rarely has the chance to break out.

The Falcons brought in a few hard nuts like ex-Marine Andy Perry, who is now banned for four weeks, to toughen up their pack. But striking the right balance between the physical and the skilful hasn't been easy and they are next to the bottom of the Premiership.

This must be a false position given that they drew at Leicester and would have won but for an incorrect call by the touch judges. Use of technology remains a thorny issue, but where TV evidence is available, as in this case, surely it should be used to decide whether a kick has gone between the posts.

THE Aussies may be crowing again, but the rest of the world will realise that the Super Series was a waste of time. Anyone who thought that the likes of Brian Lara and Shoaib Akhtar would treat it as anything more than an exhibition was seriously misguided. As was whoever appointed Graeme Smith captain and allowed him to select Daniel Vettori for the World XI. Shaun Pollock would have been a better bet on both counts.

MICHELLE Wie finished fourth in her first event as a golf professional and was then disqualified after taking a drop out of a bush and playing the ball from a few inches nearer the hole. That was in the third round and it was only the next day that a magazine writer reported his suspicions. If his delay was designed to earn him an exclusive, costing the distraught teenager far more in embarrassment than the £30,000 prizemoney she lost, it's the sort of thing which brings shame on our profession.

FURTHER evidence of the celebrity culture: There is speculation that Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff, who apparently has aspirations to be a singer, is to bring out a version of Jerusalem. What on earth is becoming of this green and pleasant land?

Published: 21/10/2005