A MOTHER who said she would never forgive herself for killing her 18-month-old daughter walked free from court yesterday.

Fiona Milson, 33, was given a two-year rehabilitation order after the court heard her daughter ingested at least a teaspoon of the heroin-substitute methadone.

Milson, of Malton, North Yorkshire, was sentenced after earlier pleading guilty to manslaughter through gross negligence for failing to protect her daughter, Sadie, from her medication.

She was told by the judge: "It's going to hang over your head to the day that you die - and that will be the greatest punishment."

In a letter read out in court, she said: "I will never, ever forgive myself for being so stupid and irresponsible for letting her come in contact with my medication.

"I know I'm responsible for her death. I will always blame myself, torture myself.

"No matter how long I'm sent to prison for, I will be serving a life sentence in my head.

"I will never forget how she looked that morning. Hopefully, one day I will be able to look at photos of my girl, but at the moment, that is too painful.

"I made one tragic mistake and I will live with this for the rest of my life. It may not seem like it, but I am a good, responsible mother."

Milson, who is pregnant, wept before thanking judge Norman Jones after he sentenced her.

Leeds Crown Court was told there was a possibility she would not be allowed to keep her unborn child.

Nicholas Campbell, prosecuting, said Sadie's grandmother, Sylvia, went to stay with her boyfriend on March 10, leaving Sadie alone with her mother at the house in Almondtree Avenue.

An open sports bottle filled with methadone, obtained illegally, was left on a table.

The court was told Sadie either ingested at least a teaspoon of methadone from the sports bottle, or obtained it from bottles Milson had been prescribed, which had child-resistant but not child-proof tops.

Tests on strands of Sadie's hair also showed traces of methadone, which the court was told could either have been ingested on previous occasions or could have been absorbed through external contamination, for example from her mother's sweat.

Sadie was not on the social services at risk register and an inquiry has been launched by the Area Child Protection Committee (ACPC), which is examining the roles of all the agencies connected with the case.

Chairman Derek Law told The Northern Echo last night: "The ACPC's responsibility is to ensure that any lessons learnt from such a tragic death as Sadie's are identified and turned into actions for the protection of other children in North Yorkshire."

Mr Campbell told the court that Sadie's birth had been the catalyst for Milson putting her life in order and that she had enrolled at the Compass clinic in York to help fight her addiction.

But from October 2003, her contact with the clinic became less frequent.

As the situation deteriorated, Milson moved into her mother's house.

The day before Sadie's death, Milson, who suffered from depression and anxiety, told her sister, Emma: "If it wasn't for Sadie, I would kill myself."

That evening, Milson put Sadie to bed at about 9pm and cuddled her until she fell asleep, unaware that anything was wrong. An hour later, she also went to bed.

"When she woke the next morning, the court heard the child was "extremely cold and appeared dead".

Milson called 999 and Sadie was later pronounced dead in the back of the ambulance.

In mitigation, Geoffrey Marson QC, said: "The tragedy of this case does not require further punishment, it does require further assistance. She has lost the person most precious to her."